IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In many cities, many people are living in large apartment blocks. Does this accommodation have more advantages or disadvantages?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
An increasing number of towns have led communities to reside in flats. In my opinion, the disadvantages outweigh the advantages.
Although
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 arrangement is economical for almost all
middle class
Add a hyphen
middle-class
show examples
 families, it causes people to live in cramped places with potential
fire
Use synonyms
 risks. The only advantage of living in apartments is that it is a very cheap and viable option, Urban areas are too densely populated that not everyone will be able to afford a house of their own. In
such
Linking Words
cases
Add a comma
,cases
show examples
 buildings of many floors can accommodate more houses in a very small area of land. For many working professionals finding a place to stay in the city centres near their work is an impossible task, so they are willing to settle down in small one-bedroom or even studios flats. One of the major negative sides of living in apartments is that there are not enough outdoor areas. For families,
this
Linking Words
 can be an issue as
this
Linking Words
 restricts the individual space creating tensions in personal relationships.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
wont
Add an apostrophe
won't
show examples
be
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 enough space to exercise or engage in other activities which is very vital for
ones
Change to a genitive case
one's
show examples
 health. The worst disadvantage of
such
Linking Words
 cramped up blocks is the hazard of
fire
Use synonyms
 outbreaks. If a particular floor catches
fire
Use synonyms
, it will become difficult for all the occupants above the particular level to escape the
fire
Use synonyms
.
Such
Linking Words
 was the case in Westhall, in which
fire
Use synonyms
 claimed 71 lives. The speed with which the
fire
Use synonyms
 spread made it impossible for everyone to escape. In conclusion, apartment blocks despite
of
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
being economical, offer cramped living conditions with a serious risk of
fire
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: