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Some people say that spending time to develop a successful career is the most important thing. Other say the spending time with friends and family is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

#people #time #career #friends
Education is a
vey
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very
 rudimentary requirement when considering individuals. some
people
percive
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perceive
 that acquiring skills would be
helpfull
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helpful
 for the
fucture
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future
,jobs
such
 as studying
acadamic
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academic
 subjects or
inerpersonal
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interpersonal
 communication is
crucial
Add an article
a crucial
the crucial
show examples
 thing, but it provides the higher pay opportunities.while
other
Change the wording
another
show examples
 side of the
pople
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people
 providing their time and priority to their loved ones and family. which
this
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apply
show examples
one
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apply
show examples
provides moral, support and happiness.
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
 essay will discuss my stance to supporting
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the topic in
further
paragaraphs
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paragraphs
.
To begin
 with, the foremost reason is there is many
people
 is willing to learn new things when having the chance to do they think it will help them to full fill their future dreams and
achivments
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achievements
. even the recent times the competition is growing rapidly.so
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
 must work more to gain the basic needs of life.
for
example
Add a comma
,example
show examples
 the
megapolise
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megapolis
megapolises
 monthly
expences
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expenses
show examples
 are
increaseing
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increasing
 drastically compared to the past months.
this
 is the result of exorbitant incline price of the basic products.
moreover
Add a comma
,moreover
show examples
 now the whole world became one village because of
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
.
couse
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cause
 of it its really easy to get the more wide range of knowledge
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
learn
Change the verb form
learning
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
varity
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variety
 of things.
altrough
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although
 the large companies are willing to pay enormous
amont
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amount
amounts
 of payments for the ones who
sutable
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suitable
 for the huge seats,
this
 motivation helps to grow most of the population to gather much more knowledge.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
Correct article usage
the other
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other hand
Change the wording
another hand
other hands
show examples
 some
grup
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group
 of
people
 thinks that spending their time with loved ones and family and the friends as forementioned they will support and helps to us
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 any kind of situation and taking care is the most important thing as
they
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the
show examples
thing
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think
show examples
,
this
 will support a person t gain more confidence and
mential
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mental
helth
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health
 for face to any kind of task to get to archive the best of it.
moreover
 the. children
are start
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start
show examples
do
Correct your spelling
to
show examples
 learning the skills as panting
of
Add the comma(s)
, of course,
show examples
course
Correct article usage
the course
show examples
 the parents will help through
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 words kids will
became
Change the verb form
become
show examples
 the masters of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
certain tasks. To
concude
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conclude
 when
person
Add an article
a person
the person
show examples
 spends time with their family gives them
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 strong foundation as
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
mention
Change the form of the verb
mentioned
show examples
 up there.
as
Change preposition
In
show examples
 my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
 it should be the one who
balance
Change the verb form
balances
show examples
 the family as well as work role is the best in always.
Submitted by figarosenavirathna on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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