Some people believe that children's leisure activities must be educational, otherwise they are a complete waste of time. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your experience.

#people #children #leisure #activities #waste #time

Some people argue that extracurricular

activities

should be a

part

of education programmes . While

students

who take

part

in these

activities

may face some problems in management time ,I completely agree that it would be helpful for

students

to practice

leisures

while studying in schools .

Firstly

, taking

part

in extracurricular

activities

in school can help children to develop their social

skills

In other words

, if

students

have the possibility to practice

leisures

with their colleagues , they will undoubtedly learn to interact comfortably with other persons and

then

they develop useful communication

skills

Consequently

, these competencies will help youngers not only in their studies but

also

in their personal life because they will be more extroverted and sociable and able to face real life .

For example

, many studies show that adults who were practised collective

activities

and interests find fewer problems

to communicate

Change the verb form

communicating

show examples

with team workers in the workplace .

That is

why

this

proposal can be valuable for youngers in their future life.

Secondly

, youngsters who participate in

leisures

pursuit tend to improve their mental health indirectly . When children take

part

in diverse passionate

activities

,they will develop their mind gradually with time and accelerate the growth of their brains because facing to new and various

activities

tend to nurture their mind by valuable knowledge and

skills

Therefore

, they will develop their memories , focus and concentration and as a

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

consequence they will be successful in their studies and achieve great grades . In conclusion, despite that practising

leisures

in school can lead to a busy schedule for youngers , I believe that

this

way brings useful advantages to

students

because it helps them to improve their social

skills

and their mental health .

Submitted by elgalalafatimazahra on Wed Sep 29 2021

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Fully explain your ideas

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

293 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

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Some people believe that children's leisure activities must be educational, otherwise they are a complete waste of time. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your experience.

Fully explain your ideas

The rise of social media has affected personal relationships and society as a whole. Do the advantages of using social media for communication outweigh the disadvantages

Some feel that governments should prioritize healthcare instead of other important areas. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the future, more people will choose to go on holidays in their own country and not travel abroad on holiday. Do you agree or disagree?

In recent time economic growth has made some people richer in both developed and developing countries. While studies show that people in developing countries are happier now than before, people in developed countries are no happier than they were before.

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are marries or single. some people say this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.