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Band 7.5

Many people assume that the goal of every country should be to produce more materials and goods. To what extent do you agree or disagree that constantly increasing production is an appropriate goal?

#people #country #materials #goods #production
It is undeniable that the goal of
country
 improvement in every region is to increase goods and materials
production
. From my point of view, I disagree with
this
 viewpoint for many reasons due to I think that the aim of the area improvement should start at the populations rather than the
production
. In the following paragraph, the reasons to support my opinion will be outlined in the detail. On the one hand, many
people
 think that increasing of the manufacture can affect their
country
 in terms the economical systems, and there can affect the well-being of
people
.
For example
, if their nation has increased
the goods
Change to a genitive case
the production of the goods
the production of the good
show examples
production
 of each industry, they will have more national income.
Additionally
, more manufacturing of many factories can raise the proportion of employment in their citizens,
as a result
, the populations can have an appropriate life.
On the other hand
, some
people
, including me, believe that the objective of these evolutions of every
country
 should focus on
livelihood
Correct article usage
the livelihood
show examples
 of their citizens rather than increasing line construction. In my opinion, I think that the government should have some goals in terms of improving education rather than improving industries,
for instance
, establishing a fund for underprivileged children to receive free school, due to
although
 rising of goods creation is a good way for these evolutions, if
people
 in their
country
 do not have a good knowledge to use the resources in their region, more
production
 will be useless as well. In conclusion, I strongly disagree with
this
 idea because the development in phases of education in each area is not only supporting their populations but
also
 is creating many efficient labours into markets of the industries.
Therefore
, it is recommended that the state union should take action on creating knowledge rather than increasing construction.
Submitted by kitsanayuiyui on

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
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    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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