IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

topic: Some people think that the government should invest more money in teaching sciencethan other subjects to make progress. Do you agree or disagree?

#topic #people #government #money #sciencethan #subjects #progress
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It is widely believed that the government should make a focus on
science
Use synonyms
 rather thе
another
Replace the adjective
another subject
other subjects
show examples
subjects
Use synonyms
 to make technological improvements. From my
perspectives
Fix the agreement mistake
perspective
show examples
, the state should allocate the main part of their budget
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 both
science
Use synonyms
 and academic
subjects
Use synonyms
 to have a balance on future potentials of the country's development. In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
 I shall discuss reasons why the government should make equal funding for both school subject sections.The primary reason for the importance of investments
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
science
Use synonyms
 commenced due
tothe
Correct your spelling
to the
the
to
 obligation of technological progress of the country. Promotion of scientific
subjects
Use synonyms
 based on analysing, logical thinking processes can teach students critical-thinking skills.
Hence
Linking Words
, it should not be forgotten about the significance of other academic
subjects
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as art and literature, because they can enhance the expansion of more creative citizens of the country. The fact is that national funds should be equally divided for each sphere to make
ahigh
Correct your spelling
a high
high
 level of academic knowledge of society.Definitely, support of
science
Use synonyms
 can afford high living conditions by production off
acilities
Correct your spelling
facilities
 and electrical appliances to make daily routine chores
more easy
Replace the words
easier
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
,technologies may increase
efficiency
Add an article
the efficiency
show examples
 of production and solve main issues related
toecological
Correct your spelling
to ecological
ecological
 and social problems.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, excepting technological progress,bilinguals and artists are
also
Linking Words
 required to lead us to a more satisfying life.
Besides
Linking Words
science
Use synonyms
,students have to be educated on the history of their ancestors and the political
part
Correct your spelling
party
show examples
 of their State. To sum up, for the students it will be enough to have a basic understanding of
science
Use synonyms
,
instead
Linking Words
 of allocating all the national budget
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 it. An advanced society needs both
science
Use synonyms
 and art to make progress and life more mature.
Submitted by zhadyra.serikbayeva2016 on

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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