IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

What are the differences between famous people today and those in the past?

#differences #people
In my country,
people
 who work in the film, sports and music industries are more famous than others. It is mainly because their jobs are in the public. If they are talented, they will become famous automatically. Many politicians in my country are
also
 famous especially those who appear in the media often. In my opinion, famous
people
 in the past were more mysterious compared to those popular now because we didn’t have any social media or Internet before. So very little is known about famous
people
 in the past.
However
, we can know many things about celebrities, including their habits, their preferences, even their private life. Being famous doesn’t mean you’re good at something.
For example
, there have been lots of individuals who became famous by accident or doing something bad that
people
 can never forget. But of
course
Add a comma
,course
show examples
 most
people
 who become famous have a certain talent or skills in their field. I definitely agree mass media
such
 as television, newspapers and magazines pay too much attention to the personal lives of famous
people
. Most of the popular
people
 do not have
private
Add an article
a private
show examples
 life. They are always in front of the camera whether they want or not.
Medias
Correct your spelling
Media
show examples
 can put the stars
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 a dangerous position because they have revealed personal information.
Submitted by shoep11 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: