In today’s competitive world, many families find it necessary for both parents go out to work. While some say the children in these families benefit from the additional income, others feel they lack support because of their parents’ absence. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#today’s #world #families #parents #work #say #children #benefit #income #lack #support #parents’ #absence

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Nowadays, most families find it necessary for both

parents

Use synonyms

to do a job to meet the demands of their

life

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. A chunk of individuals opines that

this

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will ease the

life

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of their

children

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whilst others are sceptical about it. I;

however

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, believe that

presence

Correct article usage

the presence

show examples

parents

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have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

vital

Add an article

a vital

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part in the

teenagers

Change to a genitive case

teenager's

teenagers'

show examples

life

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To begin

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with,

children

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who come from families where both

parents

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work, lead to comfortable lifestyle

such

Linking Words

as they have

luxury

Change the article

the luxury

show examples

to travel due to extra money.

For instance

Linking Words

father‘s

Correct article usage

the father‘s

show examples

income

pay

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pays

show examples

the house expenses, the

mother’s

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mothers

mother

show examples

can be used for extra-curricular activities or other luxuries.

Moreover

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, both working

parents

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provide better educational opportunities as these

children

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have access to advanced technology gadgets and can hire personal tutors for subjects they find incomprehensible.

Lastly

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, families whose basic demands are met and have

Add an article

show examples

stable income,

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

lead a happy lifestyle .

Hence

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this

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will help to create a strong family bond.

On the other hand

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parents

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are

Correct pronoun usage

who are

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so busy

to achieve

Change the verb form

achieving

show examples

their financial goals

are

Correct pronoun usage

that are

show examples

often left with no time to spend with their

children

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For

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instance

Add a comma

,instance

show examples

after a hectic day at work

parents

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are exhausted and go straight to bed for rest . There is no time to guide and look after their

children

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demands or needs.

This

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problem

lead

Change the verb form

leads

show examples

children

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to seek advice from Their peers or television or sometimes they have even

join

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joined

show examples

a gang,

this

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increase the rate of school dropouts.

Hence

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balance

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the balance

a balance

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between family and work is mandatory for the well-being of the

children

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. In conclusion, a luxurious

life

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is not sufficient

children

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need their

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parents

Change to a genitive case

parent's

parents'

show examples

guidance and support as they grow. It is the responsibility of the

parents

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to look after the behaviour of their

children

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and guide them

accordingly

Linking Words

Submitted by jotjeet9 on Thu Sep 30 2021

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

290 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

dual-income households
financial stability
work-life balance
emotional well-being
parental involvement
social development
extracurricular activities
childcare solutions
time management
career advancement

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