IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

some people feel that entertainers are paid too much money do you agree or disagree which other types of jobs should be highly paid ?

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It's
an
Change the article
a

The article an may be incorrect. Consider changing it to agree with the beginning sound of the following word universal.

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 universal fact , each and every individual thinks that he/ she is underpaid . But when it comes to actors or cricketers I personally feel that they are provided more than they genuinely deserve. I totally agree that cricketers
has
Change the verb form
have

The singular verb has does not appear to agree with the plural subject cricketers. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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 to practice for
long
Correct article usage
a long

It seems that article use may be incorrect here.

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 duration and they have to maintain their fitness as well as actors have to wear prosthetic makeup for long periods , have to rehearse
theirs
Correct the word
their

It appears that the word theirs is not the correct form of the possessive pronoun. Consider changing it.

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 scripts and act every scene with perfect expression though they are paid much more than other hardworking professionals. Entertainers
lives
Change the verb form
live

The singular verb lives does not appear to agree with the plural subject Entertainers. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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 in
most
Correct article usage
the most

It seems that article use may be incorrect here.

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 luxurious and comfortable life and they are provided security too.
On the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 who secures the whole nation "army professionals " are given
low
Add an article
the low

The noun phrase low amount seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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 amount of wages . They are the real heroes of the country so they deserve much more respect and must be
feliciated
Correct your spelling
felicitated

The word feliciated is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

with
highest
Change the article
the highest

It appears that the phrase highest amount does not contain the correct article usage. Consider making a change.

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 amount of salary and
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 security for their family's future needs . Sometimes I genuinely feel that most hardworking, talented and
skillfull
Correct your spelling
skilful

The word skillfull is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

people are not provided as much they deserve, At
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

last
Add a comma
,last

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase At last. Consider adding a comma.

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 I wish every person should be paid according to their working hours, their mental and physical ability as well as their skills and knowledge. In every
profession
Add a comma
,profession

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase In every profession. Consider adding a comma.

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 every individual must be paid according to their eligibility .

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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