More and more people today are drinking sugar-based drinks. What are the reasons for this? What are the solutions to make people drink less?

Nowadays, More and more
people
are drinking sugar-based
drinks
such
as coke, soda, soft
drinks
, energy
drinks
. Especially Teenagers and young adults
Add the comma(s)
, in particular,
show examples
in particular
tend to consume these sugar-based
drinks
on a daily demand basis.
This
essay will illustrate the
reasons
for
this
phenomenon and offer some feasible solutions to reduce energy
drinks
consumption. There are various
reasons
Why sugar-based
drinks
consumption has risen dramatically in recent years. One possible explanation is that Most modern jobs are required require us to spend great concentration and effort to be more and more productive but working or learning for a long period.
As a result
, we were become tired and lost lose concentration on working.
Therefore
,
People
drink sugar-based
drinks
to boost energy for the body and enhance their focus on working. Another reason worth mentioning is that these
drinks
allows
Change the verb form
allow
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us to stay awake to work so and,
as a result
, these sugar-based
drinks
are beneficial to us.
However
some pestiferous substances in sugar-based
drinks
such
as caffeine, aspartame can lead have led to the fact that more
people
are suffering from obesity disease than in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
over the few recent years ago. ANh suggest em bỏ câu cuối (
However
,...) vì trong câu này em đang đưa ra Negative effects của việc tiêu thụ đồ uống có đường => Nội dung này đề không yêu cầu, đề chỉ yêu cầu em đưa ra các
REASONS
tại sao người ta lại uống sugary
drinks
=> Câu này khiến idea của em bị off-topic và điểm Task Achievement của e sẽ bị trừ 
Although
reducing sugar-based
drinks
consumption is a difficult task. But , there are many solutions to encourages
people
to stop drinking those
drinks
regularly. The
first
possible solution is that the government should raise sales tax on those
drinks
.
This
can result in an increase in their prices, thereby discouraging several
people
from consuming them. The
second
approach is that we can provide with the opportunity to be
people
's awareness of all adverse impacts on health from drinking it should be raised by organizing campaigns to encourage
people
to follow a healthy diet and refrain from drinking sugar-based
drinks
.  In conclusion, the essay indicates many
reasons
to explain Why sugar-based
drinks
have been consumed by many
people
, .
Change the punctuation
,
.
show examples
Despite these causes, increasing sales tax on sugar-based
drinks
and running healthy diet campaigns to raise consumer awareness of their health are two feasible solutions that mitigate the problem.
Submitted by ngochai4354 on

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    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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