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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

More and more people today are drinking sugar-based drinks. What are the reasons for this? What are the solutions to make people drink less?

#people #drinks #drink
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Nowadays, More and more
people
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 are drinking sugar-based
drinks
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such
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 as coke, soda, soft
drinks
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, energy
drinks
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. Especially Teenagers and young adults
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, in particular,
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in particular
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 tend to consume these sugar-based
drinks
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 on a daily demand basis.
This
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 essay will illustrate the
reasons
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 for
this
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 phenomenon and offer some feasible solutions to reduce energy
drinks
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 consumption. There are various
reasons
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 Why sugar-based
drinks
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 consumption has risen dramatically in recent years. One possible explanation is that Most modern jobs are required require us to spend great concentration and effort to be more and more productive but working or learning for a long period.
As a result
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, we were become tired and lost lose concentration on working.
Therefore
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,
People
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 drink sugar-based
drinks
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 to boost energy for the body and enhance their focus on working. Another reason worth mentioning is that these
drinks
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allows
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allow
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 us to stay awake to work so and,
as a result
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, these sugar-based
drinks
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 are beneficial to us.
However
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 some pestiferous substances in sugar-based
drinks
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such
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 as caffeine, aspartame can lead have led to the fact that more
people
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 are suffering from obesity disease than in
a
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apply
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over the few recent years ago. ANh suggest em bỏ câu cuối (
However
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,...) vì trong câu này em đang đưa ra Negative effects của việc tiêu thụ đồ uống có đường => Nội dung này đề không yêu cầu, đề chỉ yêu cầu em đưa ra các
REASONS
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 tại sao người ta lại uống sugary
drinks
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 => Câu này khiến idea của em bị off-topic và điểm Task Achievement của e sẽ bị trừ 
Although
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 reducing sugar-based
drinks
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 consumption is a difficult task. But , there are many solutions to encourages
people
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 to stop drinking those
drinks
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 regularly. The
first
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 possible solution is that the government should raise sales tax on those
drinks
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.
This
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 can result in an increase in their prices, thereby discouraging several
people
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 from consuming them. The
second
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 approach is that we can provide with the opportunity to be
people
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's awareness of all adverse impacts on health from drinking it should be raised by organizing campaigns to encourage
people
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 to follow a healthy diet and refrain from drinking sugar-based
drinks
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.  In conclusion, the essay indicates many
reasons
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 to explain Why sugar-based
drinks
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 have been consumed by many
people
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, .
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,
.
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 Despite these causes, increasing sales tax on sugar-based
drinks
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 and running healthy diet campaigns to raise consumer awareness of their health are two feasible solutions that mitigate the problem.
Submitted by ngochai4354 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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