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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Write about the advantages and disadvantages of zoos

#zoos
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While
zoos
Use synonyms
 may be a paradise for
animals
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 with prepared meals and preferable weather conditions, they,
in contrast
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,
may be
Correct your spelling
maybe
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 a prison for wildlife, lacking freedom and nature. Along with the process of urbanization,
zoos
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 appear in great numbers in and out of metropolises.
This
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 essay will describe
zoos
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 as
a preservation sites
Correct the article-noun agreement
a preservation site
preservation sites
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 and as
a confined boxes
Correct the article-noun agreement
a confined box
confined boxes
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.
First
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 and foremost,
zoos
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 may be used as a home to endangered
species
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. A
species
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 earns the title of “endangered” when they are hunted to extinction and life-threatening levels by human beings. Only a few of their kind will exist on
this
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 planet, susceptible to even their natural predators.
That is
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 why
zoos
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 act as a shelter for these
animals
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. There they are fed, taken care of and protected round-the-clock. Accommodation will be provided for them until their fertility rate has stabilized and are self-sustainable enough to go back to their natural habitats.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
zoos
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 are often viewed as unnatural habitats for
animals
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 to live in. Imagine being caged, locked away from the outside world, and living in a closed, unfamiliar and unsanitary place for the rest of your life and generations to come. These boxes prevent natural growth in
animals
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 since they cannot provide the exact environment where they live. These
species
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 will slowly become inactive and attached to a manmade environment, so much so that they will either die alone in their prison or be unable to assimilate into their natural habitat again. In short,
zoos
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 should only be used with the sole purpose of aiding in protecting and preserving endangered
species
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. They should not be used as mere destinations for human’s entertainment.
Instead
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 of expanding
zoos
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, we should focus on rebuilding the habitats that people took away from them and illegalizing overhunting.
Submitted by thanh.jenny on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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