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Band 4.5

Many elderly people are no longer looked after by their families but are put in care homes or nursing homes. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend ?

#people #families #care #homes #trend
Many
people
 nowadays decide to let their parents living
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 nursing
homes
 because of their incapableness in taking
care
 of the elderly.
Although
 it is important to keep these
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
show examples
 available, whether they are got or not is a debatable question.
This
 essay will present some reasons to indicate the merits and demerits of
care
 houses. There are many things that can be considered
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
benefical
Correct your spelling
beneficial
 when mentioning nursing
homes
.
Firstly
, many old
people
 are suffering from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
loneliness, especially when they have
lose
Change the verb form
lost
show examples
 their
life-time
Correct your spelling
lifetime
show examples
 partner. Since their children have their own lives and have their own
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
 to raise, it is irrefutable that the elderly have to spend most of their time alone and it can easily lead to
despression
Correct your spelling
depression
. Nursing houses provide the solution for
this
 problem, where seniors will have the ability to share their thoughts
to
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with
show examples
 their new friends, who possibly
having
Change the form of the verb
have
show examples
 the same age,
thus
 feeling less lonely.
Secondly
, because of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
old age, elderly citizens might have many serious health diseases,
therefore
, without the constant
care
 from doctors of these institutions, there is a high chance that these health issues get worse and cause fatal conditions.
Conversely
, there are
also
 many disadvantages of
care
homes
. The
bigges
Correct your spelling
biggest
 issue is the lack of emotional attachment between family members. Since many
people
 decide to bring their parents into these institutions because they do not have enough time to take
care
 of them, it is extremely difficult for them to visit their parents, not to mention bringing their children to these nursing
homes
.
Therefore
, family members might lose the necessary connection and might lead to the ignorance of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
future generations. The other problem
should
Correct pronoun usage
that should
show examples
 be taken
under
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into
show examples
 considerations is the cost of these services.
For instance
, in Vietnam, the monthly payment for
care
homes
 is often high to have decent services,
thus
, low-incomers may not be able to live in these nursing foundations. In essence,
although
this
 trend has both its own benefits and downsides, it seems reasonable to assume that old
people
 want to remain
a
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in a
show examples
close relationship
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 their family members, and
thus
family
Correct article usage
the family
show examples
 should decide what is best for them.
Submitted by manhtienng.01 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Professional care
  • Medical attention
  • Trained staff
  • Social interaction
  • Combat loneliness
  • Safety and security
  • Relief for families
  • Loss of autonomy
  • Emotional impact
  • Cost
  • Financial strain
  • Quality of care
  • Neglect and abuse
  • Detachment from family
  • Mental wellbeing
What to do next:
Look at other essays: