IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The role of the government is to protect the country and provide urban infrastructure (roads, water supplies etc). All other services (education, health etc) should be provided by private companies.' To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

No-one
Correct your spelling
No one
show examples
 would dispute the responsibility of governments to provide defence capability and ensure that the country has the basic infrastructure in place to develop and prosper.
However
Linking Words
Add a comma
,
show examples
the question of privatisation, which involves selling off state assets to private companies over which the government has no control, is a highly controversial issue. In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
 I will argue that in my personal experience , privatisation has had a detrimental effect on the affordability and quality of
services
Use synonyms
, and those who cannot afford to pay are as always the ones who suffer the most. Many people believe that if
services
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as transport and energy are privately owned, there is increased competition between providers, which leads to lower prices, better quality of service and the development of new
services
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, if we take British Rail as an example, privatisation has resulted in cuts to local
services
Use synonyms
, frequent delays and cancellations and astronomical price hikes. A similar effect could be seen when gas and electricity provision was sold off to the highest bidder. Yes, it produced a multitude of companies vying for your custom, but rates are soaring out of control, leaving the vulnerable and elderly having to switch off their heating in the depths of winter. When it comes to industries
such
Linking Words
 as health care and education it is often argued that private companies are more efficient, cutting any surplus costs where necessary and incentivising workers with bonuses and rewards for results. Yet in these industries, the profit motive should not be the primary objective.
For example
Linking Words
, in the case of health care, privatising health provision would mean a greater priority is given to profit rather than patient care.
Also
Linking Words
 , when doctors treat patients, they are unlikely to try harder if they get a bonus.
To sum up
Linking Words
 , I believe that
services
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as the ones described above should be returned to public ownership where there will be more control and less focus on profits over people.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: