IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people work for the same organisation all their working life other think that it is better to work for different organisation. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

#people #work #organisation #life
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People
Use synonyms
 are doing
work
Use synonyms
 to complete their essential needs
such
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 as shelter and clothes, food. Most
people
Use synonyms
 prefer to do
work
Use synonyms
 in the same place in their whole life
however
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, individuals think that that it is a good idea to change the
organisation
Use synonyms
 workplace. In
this
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 ,essay
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will discuss both aspects and I give you my opinion in the coming paragraphs. On the one hand,
people
Use synonyms
 are interested in doing
work
Use synonyms
 in the same
organisation
Use synonyms
 in their entire life because there are many reasons.
Firstly
Linking Words
, they are want to get
the
Correct article usage
a
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 promotion if they are working in the same place and
also
Linking Words
 they are getting more experience from the same
organisation
Use synonyms
.
secondly
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, working in the same spot is good for socialism.
For instance
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,
people
Use synonyms
 are doing
work
Use synonyms
 for a long time in
same
Add an article
the same
show examples
 company so all team members live as a part of family and
friendsAs
Correct your spelling
friends
friends as
 a result we can
be make
Change the verb form
make
show examples
a good relations
Correct the article-noun agreement
good relations
a good relation
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 with colleagues and share feelings and thoughts.
On the other hand
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,individuals think that it is
good
Correct article usage
a good
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 chance to learn something new if we have change
organisation
Use synonyms
 due to they are following
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
 routine and can
be feel
Change the verb form
feel
show examples
 boredom.To illustrate,They
are move
Change the verb form
are moving
are moved
show examples
 to
different
Add an article
a different
the different
show examples
organisation
Use synonyms
 which can
be give
Change the verb form
give
show examples
 excitement and
enthuisam
Correct your spelling
enthusiasm
 so that could
be give
Change the verb form
give
show examples
 great performance and would
be get
Change the verb form
be getting
show examples
 excellent result
In my opinion
Add the comma(s)
, In my opinion,
show examples
 is that if we can change job we can start
work
Use synonyms
 in
new
Change the article
a new
show examples
 way and it helps to eliminate all mistakes that we can do in
previous
Add an article
a previous
show examples
 company and
also
Linking Words
 we can show best qualities and skill for that job. In conclusion, individuals think that its best decision to choose working in
different
Add an article
the different
a different
show examples
organisation
Use synonyms
 rather than the doing
work
Use synonyms
 in
same
Add an article
the same
show examples
organisation
Use synonyms
.I
believes
Change the verb form
believe
show examples
 that changing a company
give
Change the verb form
gives
show examples
 to
new
Add an article
a new
the new
show examples
 way of thinking.
Submitted by sukhpreetbadohal92 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • stability
  • loyalty
  • familiarity
  • upward movement
  • sense of community
  • job security
  • diverse experiences
  • flexibility
  • acquisition
  • broad range
  • exposure
  • industries
  • practices
  • cultures
  • fostering
  • personal growth
  • adaptability
  • professional network
  • compelling case
What to do next:
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