IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #university #college #route #career #job #school
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The line chart shows changes in the
percentage
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 of attendance in
music
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a music
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concert
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concerts
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at
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in
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 one city. The population is divided into five
age
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 groups:16-24, 25-44, 45-54, 55-64, and 75
years
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 old and above. Overall, it is clear that the
percentage
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 of attendance in all
age
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group
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groups
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 were rose except for
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percentage
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the percentage
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 of
people
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 from 55 to 64
years
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 old.
Although
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 the
percentage
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 of some
age
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 groups
were fluctuated
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fluctuated
have fluctuated
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, they showed
rising
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a rising
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 trend in general. Looking at the chart more closely, one can see that the largest
age
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group
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 comprises 16 to 24-year-olds and that it grew steadily from 2010 to 2015, gradually reaching nearly 70
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percent
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per cent
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.
In contrast
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, the oldest
group
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, made up of
people
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 75
years
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 and over, consistently have the lowest rate of all five
age
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 groups. They surged
initially
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, increasing from 10
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percent
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per cent
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 in 2010 to 20
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percent
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per cent
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 by 2011.
However
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,
this
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 figure eventually settled into a slow increase, increasing to 20
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percent
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per cent
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 by 2015. It is noteworthy that
people
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 from 55 to 64
years
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 old
remaind
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remained
remain
remains
 stable during the whole period. The number of the
second
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 largest
group
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 which comprised of
people
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 from 45 to 54 plunged
initially
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, decreased from 52
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percent
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per cent
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of
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in
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 2010 to 40
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percent
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per cent
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 by 2011. Yet,
this
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 figure eventually bounce back to 50
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percent
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per cent
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 in 2012
,
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apply
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 and maintained at the same level. The number of
people
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 from 25 to 44
years
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 old decreased from 40
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percent
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per cent
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 in 2010 to 30
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percent
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per cent
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 by 2012, which is nearly half of
figure
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the figure
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 in the largest
group
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 at the same time, but it ascended to 48
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percent
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per cent
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 in 2015.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Academic qualifications
  • Specialized skills
  • In-depth knowledge
  • Personal growth
  • Social development
  • Practical experience
  • Financial independence
  • Career progression
  • Professional networking
  • Education
  • Work experience
  • Successful career
  • Personal interests
  • Career goals
  • Decision-making process
What to do next:
Look at other essays: