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Band 4.5

Today the quality of life in large cities is decreasing,discuss the causes and solutions.

#quality #life #cities
Ways of living in towns have drastically transformed in a positive or negative way
this
 essay will discuss the causes and offer solutions to
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.
First
 of
all
Add a comma
,all
show examples
 times that we are living in have proved to be very difficult the economy has seen major shifts in all sectors affecting
people
 in big numbers
this
 has caused a shift in the way
people
 live, with
increase
Add an article
an increase
the increase
show examples
 in population and
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 jobs the
cities
 have turned out to be a place where it is all about individuals well being
such
 that nobody cares about the other, it a society of man eat society,the
cities
 quality of life
thus
 has
deteroriated
Correct your spelling
deteriorated
such
 that security is no longer a major factor.
people
 run to major towns to secure employment
that is
 not the case lately, actually the village is safer and life is affordable there considering food is readily available and issues related to housing .
For
instance
Add a comma
,instance
show examples
 the number of youths that are jobless will shock you
people
 living below a dollar
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
 is worrying sources of income are no longer available,
therefore
 crime has resulted to be the only solution.
However
,
This
Correct determiner usage
These
show examples
 issues can easily be dealt with by dealing with corruption
head on
Add a hyphen
head-on
show examples
 and creating job
oppurtunities
Correct your spelling
opportunities
 for the youth more trainings on technical skills and naturing talent,
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
this
 will depend
with
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the young peoples interest in what they wish to do and learn.
For
instance
Add a comma
,instance
show examples
 in a corruption case,corrupt leaders need
face
Fix the infinitive
to face
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 the full force of the law,like
introduction
Add an article
the introduction
show examples
 of strict measures to anybody involved in acts that threaten the economy of the country and its
people
.
Finally
,the
quaity
Correct your spelling
quality
 of life in major
cities
 has greatly changed because of ignorance,corruption and poor leadership,
this
 issues
Add the comma(s)
, however,
show examples
however
 are very easy to tackle and bring forth a solution and sanctity to the
cities
.
Submitted by Estherwanjohi17 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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