IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people work for the same organisation all their life. Others think it is better to work for different organisations. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #work #organisation #life #organisations
It
is often argue
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is often argued
show examples
 that
,
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apply
show examples
 there are some
people
 who
work
 their whole
lifetime
Replace the word
life
show examples
 for a
company
. while
other
Correct pronoun usage
others
show examples
 think that, changing job makes them more efficient. I
am totally agree
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totally agree
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 with
first
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the first
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 notion. In
forthcoming
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the forthcoming
show examples
paragraph
Add a comma
,paragraph
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 I will explain both statements and give my point of view. To commence with, the
people
 who are spending their whole
work
 life in the same
company
, they have opportunity to get
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
 position in
this
organisation
.
The another
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Another
show examples
 factor is that
,
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apply
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 they get high increment on salary as well as they can mastering themselves in their skills like
,
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apply
show examples
 communication,
problem solving
Add a hyphen
problem-solving
show examples
. For an illustration, my father started his
work
 life as a
clark
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Clark
clerk
show examples
 now he
work
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works
show examples
 for manger at
same
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the same
show examples
organisation
.
On the other hand
, some
people
 feel that
,
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apply
show examples
 working for the same
company
untill
Correct your spelling
until
 their retirement, it reduces their productivity and create boredom. Perhaps the
Correct your spelling
predominant
show examples
predominate
Correct your spelling
predominant
show examples
 reason is that
,
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apply
show examples
 especially the
people
 who like to
faces
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face
show examples
 new challenges and want to be
innovatives
Correct your spelling
innovative
 for that reason they feel working
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
 place demotivate them. They want to go new
organisation
 means
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
 environment, new challenges which make their job life more lives. For
an
Change the article
a
show examples
hence
, world employee foram runs a survey and they found that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the employees who often switch their job , they are more creative unlike the
people
like
Correct pronoun usage
who like
show examples
 to remain same
company
. To conclude with, long time
work
 for the one
organisation
help
Change the form of the verb
helps
show examples
 to makes them more successful as well as changing
work places
Correct your spelling
workplaces
show examples
also
 enhance creativity level but
it
Change the pronoun
its
show examples
 little
time consuming
Add a hyphen
time-consuming
show examples
.
Submitted by mahmuduts on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Longevity
  • Corporate ladder
  • Adaptability
  • Comfort zone
  • Professional network
  • Diverse skill set
  • Industry exposure
  • Innovation
  • Resilience
  • Seniority
  • Job market
  • Career trajectory
  • Company culture
  • Professional growth
  • Job security
  • Promotion prospects
  • Cross-functional experience
What to do next:
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