Some people believe that children that commit crimes should be punished. Others think the parents should be punished instead. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #children #crimes #parents

Children

are the backbone of the country in the future, and if they have made a mistake. It's because they are still

young

Rephrase

too young

show examples

to know what things are correct or wrong. Their parents should teach

children

about making decisions. To make them realize what the right things to do. The following paragraph will

be discussing

Wrong verb form

discuss

show examples

both views.

Therefore

, the conclusion will

reach

Wrong verb form

be reached

show examples

To begin

with, some folk believe that if

children

commit crimes, they should be punished by regulation for the

youngster

Fix the agreement mistake

youngsters

show examples

This

idea

has been developed for

children

to acknowledge that they can not do anything just because they want to do it, and the child's penalty will not be the same as an adult's.

For example

, if they steal someone's values, they need to be sent to the house of correction

instead

of jail; for those

children

who need to be reviewed, let them learn about the right decision to be made.

On the contrary

, some people believe that the father/mother should get punished

instead

of their

kids

This

idea

developed from if parents taught their

kids

good enough, they

will

Wrong verb form

would

show examples

not commit crimes and live without the problem. If they follow

this

idea

, the outcome when

kids

commit crimes will be their adults shall be sent to jail and let

kids

live with their

cousin

Fix the agreement mistake

cousins

show examples

relative

Fix the agreement mistake

relatives

show examples

. In conclusion, both opinions have their

idea

and why these ideas have been developed. From my point of view, I strongly agree with the latter statement.

For example

, youngsters need to learn the consequences if they do not follow society's laws.

Submitted by pondssp on Mon Oct 04 2021

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Task Response

Ensure to address all parts of the essay prompt in a clear and organized manner. Make sure to fully develop your arguments with specific examples and explanations.

Coherence and Cohesion

Improve the logical flow of the essay by using transition words and phrases to connect ideas and paragraphs more effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

261 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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