Some people say that professional workers such as doctors , nurses and teachers , who make greater contribution to the society should be paid more than those people in the field of sports and entertainment . To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

The high incomes of

celebrities

in the field of entertainment and sports have been a matter of dispute . I disagree that

doctors

nurses

and

teachers

should be paid salary than

celebrities

. I shall put forth my argument to support my view in the following paragraph . Some individuals say that

,

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

the service of the

doctors

,

nurses

and

teachers

are inextricably linked with human

life

. We can't lead a peaceful

life

without

the

Change the word

their

show examples

help

of

Change preposition

apply

show examples

them

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

.

Teachers

are the builders of

nation

Correct article usage

a nation

show examples

, no country can

further

without the service of

teachers

.

Doctors

and

nurses

give us treatment many

people

recover after taking treatment from

doctors

. For

this

reason

Add a comma

,reason

show examples

many individuals opinions are

doctors

,

nurses

and

teachers

should be paid more than

celebrities

.

Firstly

, the contribution of these

celebrities

are

Change the verb form

is

show examples

not less . They give us entertainment , we know that entertainment is as important as human needs like , food , clothing , shelter .

Also

Add a comma

,Also

show examples

they are the role models for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society and

people

.

People

follow and

listen

Add the preposition

tolisten

show examples

them .

Celebrities

take part in

different

Add an article

the different

a different

show examples

campaign

Fix the agreement mistake

campaigns

show examples

to aware of the

people

.

Secondly

,

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

man's contribution

also

need

Change the verb form

needs

show examples

for our society and they well deserve their high incomes because a gamer

start

Change the verb form

starts

show examples

his career from 18 - 19 and he

retire

Change the verb form

retires

show examples

in

Change preposition

at

show examples

age

Add an article

the age

an age

show examples

of 34 - 35 . Their career is too short . After their professional

life

Add a comma

,life

show examples

they have to confront struggle . My final argument , they have to stay away from their personal

life

and stay occupied

on

Change preposition

with

show examples

their work , they can't spend time with their family members .

Also

they

they

Remove the redundancy

apply

show examples

and their family members need security for

this

they have to pay

Replace the quantifier

much

show examples

many

Correct your spelling

any

show examples

money to bodyguards . To sum up ,

celebrities

deserve

this

high salary for different

kind

Fix the agreement mistake

kinds

show examples

of reasons

also

as their career is short

on the other hand

,

doctors

,

nurses

and

teachers

can work long times they retire in 70 - 80 and

they

Correct your spelling

the

show examples

passion from their institute .