IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that countries should produce food that population eats and import food as less as possible. To what extend do you agree or disagree.

#people #countries #food #population #import
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The matter of
food
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security
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 has become a heated debate in recent years, which has led to a perspective that
nations
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 should try to grow their own
food
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 while importing less from foreign countries. Personally, I am
partially
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partial
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 with
this
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 view, but I believe that some
reliant
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reliance
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 on other
nations
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 for
food
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 is not necessarily a bad aspect.
This
Linking Words
 essay is aimed to
further
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 elaborate my opinion in
details
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detail
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. There are various reasons why I partially
agree
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onagree
toagree
withagree
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 the perspective.
First
Linking Words
 and foremost,
security
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 for citizens, especially
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security
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the security
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 of essential resources, is pivotal for a functioning society. Without these resources, riots and chaos would
ensued
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ensue
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 throughout a nation, which empathizes on the necessity of maintaining
a
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apply
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control over a country's
food
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. For illustration, there have always been regulations regarding the quality of
food
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 that ensure the
qualities
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quality
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 of
food
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 products for their citizens. For
America
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,America
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 there is the FDA, and for European
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nations
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,nations
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 there is the EFSA.
Moreover
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, being able to secure the
food
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 source can contribute significantly when a war breaks out.
Conversely
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, the trading of
food
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 products is not necessarily detrimental to a nation's
security
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. To put the concept differently,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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importing
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
food
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 products from other places can actually be beneficial to the global economy. While developed countries, who have moved from agriculture activities to industrial and tourism activities, can purchase
food
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 from developing
nations
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 that are still growing
large
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a large
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amount
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amounts
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 of
food
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, poorer regions can sell their excess
food
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 to other
nations
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 to have more money to allocate for public projects and the development of the infrastructure.
Furthermore
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,
trading
Correct article usage
the trading
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 of
food
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 can
also
Linking Words
 be a way for cultures to intercept, creating new variations across the globe. In conclusion, while many people believe that
food
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security
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 should be the most prioritized target, which means
increase
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an increase
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 in
food
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 production and less dependency on importing, I strongly believe that
although
Linking Words
Use synonyms
security
Add an article
the security
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 of
food
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 is essential, the importing and exporting of the product should not be reduced but rather regulated to maintain high-quality
food
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 for the population.
Submitted by tonykim09 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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