IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The number of people who are at risk of serious health problems due to being overweight is increasing. What is the reason for growth in overweight people in society? How can this problem be solved?

#people #risk #health #reason #growth #society
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In the contemporary era,
people
Use synonyms
 are facing serious
health
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 issues because
of
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apply
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obesity is rising
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at in
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in
Correct your spelling
an
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 alarming rate nowadays. The reason
of
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for
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this
Linking Words
 problem is that
,
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apply
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 eating habits and lack of exercise and the viable solution is creating public awareness campaign about
disadvantages
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the disadvantages
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 to being
a
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apply
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fat.
Form
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From
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 an overall perspective, there are two main reasons
of
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for
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weight
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the weight
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 gaining problem. Provably, the
well known
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well-known
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 fact is that, eating low carb and veggies. The rate of eating junk foods are gaining more popularity because it is easy to order and eat. For that reason,
people
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 are unwilling to eat carb foods and green vegetables
thus
Linking Words
 it takes time to cook and tasteless
people
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 think. For an illustration, Oxford University public a report where they say,
people
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 are going fat because of their unhealthy diet.
As a result
Linking Words
, they are affected by depression, diabetes type 2 and so on. To tackle
this
Linking Words
 problem, the government should launch
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a campaign
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campaign
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campaigns
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 in social media and in every educational
institutions
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institution
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 to educate
people
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 danger of eating
high calorie
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high-calorie
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 food. The authority needs to tell them the benefits of changing eating
habit
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habits
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 as well as add more
carb
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carbs
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 and protein. For
an
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apply
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example,
Japanese
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the Japanese
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 government, encourages
people
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 to eat more greens
as a result
Linking Words
, they are
more
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apply
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healthier than before. To conclude with, good
health
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play
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plays
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significant
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a significant
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 role in human life and being in poor
health
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 cost money and life. To enjoy every colour of life we need to be in good
health
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.
Submitted by mahmuduts on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • obesity
  • sedentary
  • caloric intake
  • genetics
  • nutritional awareness
  • processed foods
  • fast food
  • lifestyle diseases
  • preventative measures
  • tax incentives
  • urban planning
  • community gardens
  • wellness initiatives
  • dietary guidelines
  • physical fitness
  • calorie-dense
  • portion control
  • metabolic rate
  • health literacy
  • food deserts
  • work-life balance
  • junk food
  • BMI (Body Mass Index)
  • non-communicable diseases
  • food labeling
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