IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

n today's competitive world, many families find it necessary for both parents to go out to work. While some say the children in these families benefit from the additional income, others feel they lack support because of their parents' absence. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#n #world #families #parents #work #say #children #benefit #income #lack #support #absence
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In the present
aggresive
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aggressive
 environment most parents feel that it is essential for both
the
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apply
show examples
partners to work. It is considered by some that
off springs
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offsprings
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 in these
socieities
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societies
 get the advantage of extra income, while there are others who think that many
children
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 do not get
the
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apply
show examples
support from their family. In
this
Linking Words
essay
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,essay
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 I will look at both sides of the
arguments
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argument
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 and give my opinion. On the one hand, more financial resources can provide
better
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a better
show examples
future
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to
Change preposition
for
show examples
the
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apply
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young minds. It is a
well- known
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well-known
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 fact that money plays a vital role in the
developlment
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development
redevelopment
 of the bright
future
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 of the
children
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 especially in
this
Linking Words
 era of inflation in the developing economies as more money can open oceans of opportunities for people and they can enhance their knowledge and skills by means of quality education and resources.
For instance
Linking Words
, infants in developed countries are
multi talented
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multi-talented
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 and highly qualified due to the fact that their parents
posess
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possess
 high
income
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incomes
show examples
. In short,
families
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 having sound economic
position
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positions
show examples
 are in a much better position to give their
children
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 a good
future
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
upbringing
Correct article usage
the upbringing
show examples
 of a child is
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affected
show examples
effected
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affected
show examples
 due to
lack
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a lack
show examples
 of family support. Undoubtedly youngsters of wealthy
families
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 do not excel in academics and sports during
thier
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their
 school days as
children
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 in these communities are left with no assistance from their elders as
families
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 find it difficult to focus on their
children
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 due to
lack
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a lack
show examples
 of time management. To illustrate, people born in rich
families
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 often have poor education
background
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backgrounds
show examples
 due to which they are compelled to take a medium level of occupation in the
future
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.
Finally
Linking Words
, in my
opinion
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,opinion
show examples
 Money is an integral part of human life and it is necessary for survival and growth
however
Linking Words
 earning wealth should not compromise the
future
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 of
children
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 and it is the responsibility of parents to take good care of
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 babies.
Submitted by rahat on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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