IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

People doing dangerous sport activities like scuba diving and bungee jumping should be responsible for their own life and rescue workers should not risk their lives to save people doing those sports. Do you agree or disagree

#people #sport #activities #scuba #bungee #life #rescue #workers #risk #lives #sports
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
I would disagree that people should responsible for their own safety while trying life-threatening
sports
Use synonyms
 activities.
Sports
Use synonyms
 are of different types and it is a passion for a small crowd. People who are a passion about
sports
Use synonyms
, choose a sport of their interest and eventually become experts by practising over a period of time.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there is no harm in people with a different occupation wanting to experience or try out a new game occasionally. The only responsibility according to my opinion is to remember the signs and follow the instructions that are given before the sporting event. Nowadays,
sports
Use synonyms
 like scuba diving, snorkelling and bungee jumping are becoming more popular and it is attracting a huge crowd to experience these
sports
Use synonyms
 especially in tourist spots. A few years ago we were on a trip to an island in Malaysia called Langkawi, there we booked for jet-ski ride, where we were taught the signs should be used when in danger and
also
Linking Words
 basic communication while in the middle of the sea. The recuse workers were coming along the way with us throughout the entire trip for our safety. And the responsibility of the water
sports
Use synonyms
 organiser or the rescue workers is to ensure that the person opting in for trying the sport understands the signs and instructions that are required to be followed in an unexpected situation.
Finally
Linking Words
, I would conclude by saying that it is not the sole responsibility of the person to take care of his own life who is trying the sport for the
first
Linking Words
 time.
Submitted by lawrencemartin03 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • responsibility
  • dangerous sports
  • scuba diving
  • bungee jumping
  • rescue workers
  • risk
  • save lives
  • priority
  • regulations
  • guidelines
  • safety
  • education
  • training
  • participants
What to do next:
Look at other essays: