Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

#food #drink #products #levels #sugar #health #people

These day

sugar

added diets is one of the most dangerous

habit

Change to a plural noun

habits

show examples

to your health. One of the possible solutions is

raise

Fix the infinitive

to raise

show examples

these kind

Change the determiner

this kind

these kinds

show examples

of food's

cost

Fix the agreement mistake

costs

show examples

higher than others to decrease buyer's attention and make a healthier habit. I totally agree with the statement and

this

essay will argue that after the price changed the consumers will consider

another choices

Replace the adjective

another choice

other choices

show examples

and turn to less sugary products. We all accept that it is hard to convince locals to consume less

sugar

daily. The process that

make

Change the verb form

makes

show examples

the price more

expansive

Correct your spelling

expensive

show examples

than no

sugar

added item might be the answer. From

this

method

Add a comma

,method

show examples

the buyers start to think that they can save more money from getting

larger

Add an article

a larger

show examples

amount of food or compare with the same type of product but

healthier

Correct article usage

a healthier

show examples

version of it. The survey reveals that the majority of people tend to drink coke zero more than a regular one if they have a choice. They said they felt more secure from getting

obesity

Replace the word

obese

show examples

The another

Remove the article

Another

show examples

supportive idea could be

rise

Fix the infinitive

to rise

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

awareness in residents about how

sugar

work and what is the substitute ingredients.

For instance

, the sugary taste chemicals called "Equal"

are widely use

Change the verb form

are widely used

show examples

for

in patient

Correct your spelling

inpatient

show examples

who has obesity status.

In addition

this

substance could use for baking

instead

of using

huge

Correct article usage

a huge

show examples

amount of

sugar

. In conclusion, Even now healthy diet is becoming

trend

Add an article

a trend

show examples

among

teenage

Replace the word

teenagers

show examples

to always keep their body in shape despite many more folk is still addicted to

sugary

Add an article

a sugary

show examples

snack.

However

, I agree with the notion that adding

price

Add an article

the price

show examples

sugar

contained food up is significant progress to encourage people to consume less

sugar

Submitted by tanat30635.ts on Wed Oct 06 2021

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Fully explain your ideas

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

270 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

health problems
manufactured food and drink products
sugary products
excessive sugar consumption
discourage
promote
healthier choices
reduce
increased taxes
fund
health education
prevention programs

What to do next:

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Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

In many countries, the number of animals and plant declining? Why do you think this is happening? How can this issue be solved

. In some cities, people prefer riding bicycles rather than drive cars. In some cities, people choose to drive cars rather than ride bicycles. What are the reasons for their preferences? Which one do you think is better development?

In many countries governments are investing in new technology to deal with the public. Why is this happening? Do you think it is an approriate use of government money?

In many large cities, people have to spend hours driving in heavy traffic every day. What are the effects of this on society and the individual? What can be done about it? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Accommodation and transport problems are increasing in many large cities. Therefore, businesses are encouraged to move to rural areas. Do advantages outweigh disadvantages?