Many feel that happiness is mainly an individual responsibility, while others feel that there are important external factors. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

To begin
with , the
person
should be strong enough . As if anything bad happens in his
life
like if he does not get a good result of his long hard work , it
the
Add a missing verb
is the
show examples
person
duty to tackle
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that situation and do not let that situation be heavy on himself because he has the option to try again .
In addition
, the individual should have control over his emotions . Even though there are many emotional moments in his
life
where it is not important to be sad , he does not have to pay attention to those silly things and try to be busy with his own development .
On the other hand
, there are some other points which are important for happiness . Situations in
life
. For ,example if a
person
tried a lot even after his failure and he is able to achieve that goal or job but when it is time to join , the accident
is occur
Change the verb form
occurs
show examples
and he loses somebody parts now what he will do ? How he can be happy ? So the situation must be good to be happy . The family should be supportive . As the family is playing a crucial role in everyone's
life
, they have to support their child in his doing because if guardian stop their offsprings
to
Change preposition
from
show examples
doing what they want to do or they are doing
then
it really affects their happiness . In conclusion ,
however
, the
person
should be strong enough , situations in the
life
and support by the family is playing a vital role in his
life
.
Submitted by kiranghuman43 on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Individual responsibility
  • External factors
  • Personal choices
  • Mindset
  • Attitude
  • Mental health
  • Self-improvement
  • Socioeconomic status
  • Financial stability
  • Social relationships
  • Supportive family
  • Environment
  • Living conditions
  • Neighborhood safety
  • Cultural factors
  • Interplay
  • Dispositions
  • Case studies
  • Practical strategies
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