IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Technological improvement has made our life more comfortable than ever before. Some people argue that this is a positive trend, while others say that it is leading to a negative consequence. Discuss advantages and disadvantages, and then give your opinion.

#improvement #life #people #trend #consequence
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Argument
Add an article
The argument
show examples
 goes that
people
Use synonyms
 are getting more and more dependent on
technology
Use synonyms
. Though the technological revolution has both advantages like advanced communication and
automation
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and disadvantages like cyber-crime and obesity,
this
Linking Words
essay
Use synonyms
 considers
this
Linking Words
 unprecedented innovation as a huge blessing for
people
Use synonyms
. Followed by
opinion
Add an article
the opinion
show examples
 of the
essay
Use synonyms
, an illustration on both advantages and disadvantages of technological improvement is given below. The unprecedented advancement of communication and
automation
Use synonyms
technology
Use synonyms
 has made
people
Use synonyms
's
life
Use synonyms
 faster and more comfortable than ever before. Regardless
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 distance in between, they can set up real-time audio-visual contact, can enjoy and participate
online
Change preposition
in online
show examples
 live events, get constant updates of different activities around the world etc.
Automation
Use synonyms
technology
Use synonyms
 is another ground-breaking innovation which made
people
Use synonyms
's daily
life
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 enjoyable that was once even beyond of imagination.
For example
Linking Words
, washing machine, electronic cookware, refrigerator, air conditioning system, home theatre, and entry-exit system for vehicles or buildings etc. all are functioning with just a push of one button, or with a finger touch, or simply with a voice code.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 revolutionary development of
technology
Use synonyms
 is
also
Linking Words
 blamed for easing dreadful cyber-crimes and promoting a
disease prone
Add a hyphen
disease-prone
show examples
 sedentary lifestyle. Through
digital
Add an article
a digital
show examples
platform
Change the noun form
platforms
show examples
 like
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 or mobile phone,
cyber criminals
Correct your spelling
cybercriminals
show examples
 are attacking
people
Use synonyms
 by sending hurtful text messages, using unauthorized photos or videos, and spreading
rumors
Change the spelling
rumours
show examples
 etc. Meanwhile, a
15
Add a hyphen
15-year
show examples
year long
Add a hyphen
year-long
show examples
 trend line study finds that due to excessive dependency on
automation
Use synonyms
, many
people
Use synonyms
 are becoming physically inactive, which is doubling the risk of obesity, diabetes, cardiovascular diseases, depression and so on. Admitting these few drawbacks,
this
Linking Words
essay
Use synonyms
 believes that the benefits of technological improvement are abundant, and they are inevitably embedded
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
people
Use synonyms
's daily
life
Use synonyms
. Recent technological transformation has gifted our daily
life
Use synonyms
 a rhythm of comfort and connectivity.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
this
Linking Words
 development is
also
Linking Words
 blamed for causing rampant cyber-crimes and a
disease prone
Add a hyphen
disease-prone
show examples
 sedentary lifestyle. In brief, all things considered,
this
Linking Words
essay
Use synonyms
 views
technological
Correct article usage
the technological
show examples
 revolution as a massive blessing for
people
Use synonyms
 in
this
Linking Words
 modern world.
Submitted by jason on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: