Some people say that all popular TV programs should aim to educate viewers about important issues. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #tv #programs #aim #viewers

A particular number of

people

argue that all well-known television shows should teach viewers about significant community problems. I believe that

this

can help to increase public awareness about social issues. The main

reasons

Fix the agreement mistake

reason

show examples

for my viewpoint

Change the verb form

are

show examples

that many

people

watch TV programs for

entertainment

and most of those do not have any meaning. Nowadays,

general

Correct article usage

the general

show examples

public

prefer

Change the verb form

prefers

show examples

watching TV. It is mean that TV shows can easily share social problems, like an increase of crimes, corruption, changes in the educational system and others.

Consequently

, more and more

people

will know about crucial issues, and

then

they can affect

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apply

show examples

this

problem and solve it faster.

Therefore

, public awareness plays

essential

Add an article

an essential

show examples

role in solving civil concerns. So, it

is increase

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increases

show examples

the quality of life. Another aspect to consider is that many young

people

watch

entertainment

programs without value.

For instance

, the host and interviewee are talking about unnecessary topics, like what would happen if you drink coda

instead

of water. If

entertainment

shows include some educational information about our life, it will be more helpful for viewers.

Moreover

, television shows are

Add an article

a more

show examples

convenient and quick way for passing on communal messages. Even if a number of show’s

plan

Fix the agreement mistake

plans

show examples

concentrated

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show examples

issues, it would have a serious impact on society. In conclusion,

entertainment

shows should be not only for gaiety

Add the word(s)

but,

show examples

also

for educational aspects. It can lead to the wide dissemination of information around

people

Hence

, most

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apply

show examples

people

Add an article

the people

show examples

will be aware

about

Change the preposition

show examples

community-based troubles.

Accordingly

, it can improve

living

Correct article usage

the living

show examples

conditions of society.

Submitted by zhadyra.serikbayeva2016 on Thu Oct 07 2021

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

253 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people say that all popular TV programs should aim to educate viewers about important issues. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Your opinion

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learingn a foreign langauge at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Computers are becoming an essential part of education. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages and give your own opinion.

The best way for a government to prepare for the future is to invest in young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that cities should be designed to be beautiful rather than functional. Do you agree

"Many animal species in the world has become extinct nowadays. Some people say that countries and individuals should protects these animals from dying out, while others say that we should concentrate more on problems of human being. Discuss both view and give your opinion"