Some people believe that the fast pace and stress of modern life is having a negative effect on families To what extent do you agree or disagree

Many people feel that the high- speed and pressure of contemporary lifestyle are having a detrimental effect on
families
. I totally agree with
this
notion that because the fast pace leads to less
time
for
families
to be together and stress leads to arguments among family members. The main reason why I believe family life is being compromised is
because
Replace the word
that
show examples
families
have less
time
to be with each other. As individual family members are occupied with their work and social lives, so they have to less
time
with their family. The high requirements of working schedules
sometime
Replace the word
sometimes
show examples
force people into working overtime, even at weekends to earn too much money and have opportunities for their career promotion.
Moreover
, since they have a little amount of
time
left, they would spend it pursuing their own interest and hobbies
such
as surfing
facebook
Change the capitalization
Facebook
show examples
, check email and so on.
For instance
, I stay in my room playing game and chatting with my friends as soon as I come home after school.
Secondly
, another reason why support the notion that
families
are
being adversely affect
Change the verb form
being adversely affected
show examples
is that the burden of modern life
these day
Change the determiner
this day
these days
show examples
may
leads
Change the verb form
lead
show examples
to get together are more likely. A person under pressure,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
feel
stress
Change the form of the verb
stressed
show examples
out and extremely tired and usually irritated anyone else,
therefore
, we will weaken family bonding ourselves. To illustrate, after hard- working a day my mother will always get irritated with me about anything just due to small. In conclusion, I totally agree with the notion that the rapid urbanizations and stressful conditions of new living are having
harmful
Add an article
a harmful
show examples
influence
Fix the agreement mistake
influences
show examples
on family relationships.
Submitted by domaianh.uliser on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: