Many people say that the only way to guarantee a good job is to complete a course of university education. Others claim that it is better to start work after school and gain experience in the world of work. how far do you agree or disagree with the above views

In
this
cometitive
Correct your spelling
competitive
world, finding a better
job
appers
Correct your spelling
appears
to be impossible. The question is, what is the best choice to get
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
job
insurance? is it a degree or
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
work
experience
? In
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
I am going to discuss both
view
Change to a plural noun
views
show examples
and draw my own opinion. In terms of the disadvantage, gaining
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
work
experience
after school can
limits
Change the verb form
limit
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
job
opportunities for
job
seeker
Fix the agreement mistake
seekers
show examples
. The main reason
given
Add the auxiliary verb
was given
show examples
to support
this
claim
that
Add a missing verb
is that
show examples
Correct your spelling
bachelor
bachelor's
bachlor
Correct article usage
a bachlor
show examples
degree
an
Add a missing verb
is an
show examples
inveitable
Correct your spelling
inevitable
requirment
Correct your spelling
requirement
in most of the
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
. To illustrate, when a person
decied
Correct your spelling
decided
to look for
job
vacancies after school rather
tahn
Correct your spelling
than
completing higher education,
this
can decrease the
possiability
Correct your spelling
possibility
to have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
job
offers.
In other words
, the difficulty
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
finding
work
will
adversly
Correct your spelling
adversely
affect the seeker's life.
Thus
, the belief
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
gaining
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
work
experience
as the best choice is
flaw
Add an article
a flaw
the flaw
show examples
.
However
, it is commonly believed by a segment of people that pursuing a degree at
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
university is demanding nowadays.
First
of all, completing studying will not only raise the knowledge but
also
will increase the
job
opportuinitie
Correct your spelling
opportunities
opportunity
.
This
is because educational
requirment
Correct your spelling
requirement
is a contributing factor for
job
applications.
In addition
, working
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
a better employment sector is
assciated
Correct your spelling
associated
with a great living.
Therefore
, it is good to continue studying. In conclusion,
although
work
experince
Correct your spelling
experience
has brought many
benefit
Change to a plural noun
benefits
show examples
it can be bad sometimes.
Therefore
, I believe continuing study after school
outweigh
Change the verb form
outweighs
show examples
the benefit that comes from gaining an early
work
experience
.
Submitted by dr.min-soo on

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • theoretical knowledge
  • critical thinking skills
  • specialized expertise
  • on-the-job training
  • work experience
  • financial independence
  • career growth
  • hands-on experience
  • balanced perspective
  • internships
  • part-time work
  • academic learning
  • vocational training
  • apprenticeships
  • personal circumstances
  • financial constraints
  • career goals
  • individual aptitudes
  • well-paying careers
  • satisfying careers
  • specialized training
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