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Band 5

In education and employment, some people work harder than others. Why do people work harder? Is it always a good thing to work hard

#education #employment #people #work
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Owning to some reasons, few
people
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 tend to put extra effort to be successful in their career or class. They impose sufficient discipline on themselves to have outcome performs compared to
others
Correct pronoun usage
other
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people
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 practice offers a gateway to get more salary, bonuses and can be appreciated by
people
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 or can have a good grade at school, get to
a
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an
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 excellent university and have a brighter future.
However
Linking Words
, if work so hard,
bother
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bothers
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 diet, entertainment can exert
negative
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a negative
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 impact on health. From
career’s
Correct article usage
a career’s
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 perspective, it
easily
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easy
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 to perceive why
people
Use synonyms
in
Add a missing verb
are in
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favor
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favour
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 of
hard
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hardworking
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working
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work
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.
Career’
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Career
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 progression is one of
reasonable
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the reasonable
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reason
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reasons
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 for
this
Linking Words
 practice, due to pupils have
better
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a better
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 chance of promotions, huge waves and can be executive. In
term
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terms
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 of education, children are encouraged to put extra effort
on
Change preposition
into
show examples
 learning because of
Correct article usage
the expectation
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expectation
Fix the agreement mistake
expectations
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 of family and
social
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society
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. School and teachers
also
Linking Words
 appreciate well students
such
Linking Words
 brilliants or students who have good grades. And study harder give them a
Correct your spelling
gateway
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gate way
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gateway
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 to top universities, where provide them
a
Add the preposition
with a
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well
Change the adverb
good
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 environment than others. Obviously, by performing betters students can meet their ambitions and
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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marvelous
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marvellous
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 jobs in the future.
Nonetheless
Linking Words
, it absolutely
Correct your spelling
is
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it
Correct your spelling
is
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 a good trend to hardworking, it not always is a good thing to put extra efforts. Outperforms can making extra efforts not only the pupils can enjoy the success at their academies, but
also
Linking Words
 hardworking workforce can reach the top-notch positions.
As a result
Linking Words
, they can live a highly admired materialistic life.
However
Linking Words
, overwork can lead to
health
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the health
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hazard
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hazards
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 and psychological disorders. If
people
Use synonyms
 over-indulged into their field and bother diet, interact with social or recreation it and
it
Change the pronoun
its
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 negative effects could be diabetes, hypertension,….A report published in the Times of India revealed that school-going children are suffering from various health hazards and have no more interested in studying because of stress due to over-study. In conclusion,
people
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
have various reasons to work hard to raise their profile or boost prolific productivity.
Although
Linking Words
 working hard is beneficial in some aspects, too much of it can result in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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detrimental
Replace the word
detriment
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of
Change preposition
to
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 our physical wellbeing.
Submitted by thanh.jenny on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Genetic predisposition
  • Work ethic
  • Upbringing
  • Cultural values
  • Ambitions
  • Motivated
  • Fear of failure
  • Competitive nature
  • Overworking
  • Burnout
  • Stress-related health issues
  • Productivity
  • Quality of life
  • Healthy balance
  • Long-term productivity
What to do next:
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