The average standard of people health is likely to lower in the future than it is now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement

#people #health #future

The life expectancy of human beings is reducing

day

. In my opinion, due to a sedentary lifestyle

people

are spoiling their

health

and it will be more worsen in the future.

This

essay will discuss the topic in detail in the following paragraphs.

To begin

with, due to tight work schedules and job stress,

people

are not finding time to do exercises.

Moreover

, due to white-collar jobs,

people

are not physically active

also

. Due to

this

more than fifty

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

of youngsters are diagnosed with chronic diseases like Hypertension and Diabetes Mellitus.

In addition

, a study conducted by World

Health

Organization proved that ten in a hundred

people

are diagnosed with the above-mentioned diseases per year.

Secondly

, due to dietary habits. Nowadays

people

are eating all non-organic vegetables. Due to the chemicals in that many are getting life-threatening issues likes cancer.

In addition

, many

people

are

depending

Add the preposition

ondepending

show examples

fast foods as their bread and butter because of fast lifestyles.

Therefore

Change preposition

show examples

the

Correct article usage

show examples

young age

itself

Add a comma

,itself

show examples

people

are

Replace the word

losing

show examples

loosing

Correct your spelling

losing

show examples

their

health

However

, the active

people

who follow a strict diet

also

diagnosing with

health

issues because of global warming. To summarize, because of all the mentioned factors the humans are failing to meet the standard

health

and

moreover

Add a comma

,moreover

show examples

these issues are increasing

day

Finally

people

are following a sedentary lifestyle because of that the average life expectancy is gradually declining and it will become more in the future. So, I strongly agree that the standard of human's

health

will be lower in the future because of the above-mentioned reasons.

Submitted by divyahemakumar2017 on Fri Oct 08 2021

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

261 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

1. Standard of health
2. Average
3. Lower
4. Future
5. Aging population
6. Chronic diseases
7. Sedentary lifestyle
8. Lack of exercise
9. Poor dietary habits
10. Environmental pollution
11. Technological advancements
12. Impact on health

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