IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The government should ban smoking in all public places even though this would restrict some other people’s freedom?Do you agree or disagree?

#government #ban #places #people’s #freedom
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Nowadays,a plethora of folk around the globe smokes
smoke
Use synonyms
 in public areas or while around their families. A chunk of people or individuals appoints that government have to restrict smoking in crowded areas since it is injurious to health. Are you;
however
Linking Words
, completely agree with
this
Linking Words
 notion and will discuss it in my upcoming paragraphs.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the fact of smoking can kill anyone. To explicate, smoking not only damages the lungs of smokers but
also
Linking Words
 has hazardous to person well-being who inhaled the
smoke
Use synonyms
 from them.
For instance
Linking Words
, medical researchers found that passive smokers have more negative factors was more than actual smokers.
Moreover
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, there are numerous types of cancer which are originating from cigarette smoking as it has tobacco which is carcinogenic in nature leading to carcinoma formation as lung cancer or oral cancer are the types of cancers that are life-threatening
therefore
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 it is devastating to the life of all individuals.
Lastly
Linking Words
, the people in social places
also
Linking Words
 have other health problems
such
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 as Atma or allergic to the
smoke
Use synonyms
 generated from tobacco.
Moreover
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, pregnant women and children are more prone to its ill effects .
For instance
Linking Words
,doctors warn women about the harmful effects of substances containing any alcohol or inhaling tobacco
smoke
Use synonyms
 during their pregnancy. To conclude,
although
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, some members of society tend to believe that banning
smoke
Use synonyms
 will violate individuals’ rights.
However
Linking Words
,I personally believe that government should ban smoking in public areas as it is not only detrimental to their health but
also
Linking Words
 to people in their proximity.
Submitted by jotjeet9 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • prohibit
  • legislate
  • secondhand smoke
  • public health
  • respiratory
  • cardiovascular diseases
  • enforce
  • legislation
  • public policy
  • autonomy
  • compromise
  • healthcare burden
  • passive smoking
  • civic responsibility
  • health hazard
  • involuntary exposure
  • liberties
  • deterrent
  • cessation
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