IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation,such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money.otgers argue that it is better to try and improve such situations.

#people #situation #job #shortage #money #otgers #situations
Many masses think that they can'
t
change
 the unpleasant circumstances like unfulfilling occupations and scarcity of money.while some humans are determined to
change
such
 circumstances. In the new generation where competition is at
it's
Replace the word
its
show examples
 peak for work.some
people
doesn'
Change the verb form
don't
show examples
t
 end up with the job they imagined about.And they sometimes accept it because of financial
crisis
Fix the agreement mistake
crises
show examples
 or other unfortunate events.
for example
 according to WHO 35%
people
Change preposition
of people
show examples
 are not fulfilled with the job's they have and still accept
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 because of
unfavorable
Change the spelling
unfavourable
show examples
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
. Whereas when it comes to
people
 who refuse to accept the situation they are in and work hard towards the betterment of their jobs.
Such
people
doesn'
Change the verb form
don't
show examples
t
 accept the position they are put into
Instead
 they are always open to new options and are always trying.
For instance
 in
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 report by Hindustan Times
people
 who appear for jee advance exam 70%
Correct your spelling
drop out
show examples
dropout
Correct your spelling
drop out
show examples
 after one to two tries and 30% who keep
trying
Add the particle
totrying
show examples
 crack the exams in three to four tries. To wrap it up,it can be concluded that some
people
 due to
unfavorable
Change the spelling
unfavourable
show examples
 conditions can'
t
change
 anything and give up while
people
 who don'
t
 want to leave their target doesn'
t
 use the bad situations as an excuse to stay down and
instead
 use
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 as motivation in their life to
change
 everything and rise up.
Submitted by shashwats157 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: