IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people think that money spent on developing the technology for space exploration is not justified. There are more beneficial ways to spend this money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #money #technology #space #exploration
Nowadays, the government's investment has never failed to provoke debates among people. Some suppose that spending money on developing technology for
space
 discovery is worthless, others make a statement that there are more tremendous tactics to utilize that amount of money.
This
 essay is dedicated to analysing a personal perspective. Without a shadow of
doubt
Add an article
a doubt
show examples
, exploring the universe acts as a precursor to our life since it helps humans to find a new habitable planet. Nowadays, overpopulation has become a dire issue
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 exerts the lack of living
space
 as well as the overexploitation of natural sources due to higher hierarchies. On top of that, with the groundbreaking development of the economy, there is an ever-increasing number of factories and private transportation. These two elements serve as
a
Change the article
the
show examples
 main drive to a thriving carbon footprint and
then
 lead to air pollution and respiratory disease. While the Earth is suffering from recession, it is necessary to discover a new place as a backup plan in the future. Despite the redeeming features of
space
 exploring, other fields should not be neglected. In specific, education
also
 needs investing as it plays a paramount significant role
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 long-term development. Once getting access to school in order to absorb knowledge as well as hone
set
Correct article usage
a set
show examples
 of skills, students will become aspiring for a quality workforce, which facilitates the company’s productivity.
Furthermore
, it will enhance a country’s economy.
However
, there are still existing problems like many impoverished teenagers can not get
tertiary
Add an article
a tertiary
show examples
 education, a tight budget may hinder the students from having practical experiments. With a view to addressing these issues, there is a myriad of ways that can be cited
such
 as reducing the tuition fees, applying top-notch technology or giving scholarships. In conclusion,
space
 exploration may have beneficial merits to humans,
however
,
besides
, education should
also
 be considered investing.
Submitted by hominhtrang995 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • space exploration
  • justified expenditure
  • technological advances
  • earthly concerns
  • telecommunications
  • environmental conservation
  • inspire innovation
  • diplomatic relationships
  • peaceful cooperation
  • long-term survival
  • colonization
  • commercial ventures
What to do next:
Look at other essays: