The government money should be invested in teaching science rather than other subjects so as to help the country make progress and develop. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#government #money #science #subjects #country #progress

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Some people believe that the

country

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should use their budget mostly in teaching

science

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than other subjects to develop their

country

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. By the way, I definitely disagree with

this

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argument because there are several parts to develop a nation and the competition of getting employment will be severe. To start with,

science

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is not the only subject to make them prosperous.

Although

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investing in

science

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to provide a high-technic, it is

also

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important to focus on other fields

such

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as literature, art, and music. Surprisingly, they can

also

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spread the

country

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's development to the world.

For example

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, Korea now becomes the top of culture industry

such

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as movies and music. In the past, the influence of K-dramas or K-pops is limited in Asia but now they are awarded in academy award and billboard music award.

This

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became a chance to advertise Korea so just consume their budget in the

science

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territory is not the only way to make their industry successful.

In addition

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, a concentration in

science

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can lead to higher competition. If a nation encourages

science

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more than other subjects, many students will study and major in the

science

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field.

However

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, the existing workforce and famous

science

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university

Fix the agreement mistake

universities

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are limited so the competition will be fierce.

For example

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, there are common cognitive in Korea which the easiest way to getting a job in the future is to study in

science

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or engineering major. It is now becoming a problem of the unemployment crisis. To sum up,

science

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is not the only territory to develop a nation and

this

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will lead to unemployment crises. For these reasons, it is clear that a

country

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should invest their budget in various fields to make progress.

Submitted by alice1809 on Sat Oct 09 2021

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

283 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Innovation
Competitiveness
Scientific literacy
Catalyst
Renewable energy
Holistic
Global challenges
Critical thinking
Cultural awareness
Curriculum
Skilled workforce
Pressing problems
Job market saturation

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Some people think that art is an essential subject for children at school while others think it is a waste of time. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.