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Band 5.5

The range of technology available to people is increasing the gap between the rich and the poor. Others think it has an opposite effect. Discuss both views and give your opinions.

#range #technology #people #gap #effect
Nowadays, it is concerned about the development of
technology
, which may
contributes
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contribute
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 to a well-being disparity between the rich and poor people, while I allege that the advancement of
technology
 is able to reduce the gap among
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
. In
this
 essay, I will
eloborate
Correct your spelling
elaborate
 both
viewsides
Correct your spelling
view sides
view sites
, and describe my perspective. On the one hand, It is true that innovation can consolidate the livelihood's disparity between
mankinds
Correct your spelling
mankind
mankind's
 because rich peoples have enough money to afford the
technology
 to facilitate their life
such
 as
luxuary
Correct your spelling
luxury
 cars, the newest
smart phone
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smartphone
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, and even buying the modern
technology
 to generate more income, whereas poor people cannot even afford the food to
fulfill
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fulfil
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 their stomach. To illustrate
this
, the kids who have
a
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apply
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weathy
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wealthy
 parents can purchase the
high speed
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high-speed
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 computer, which cost around one hundred thousand baht for mining bitcoin and generating a million baht, while the poor kids do not have money to buy even lunch.
Therefore
, the difference
of
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in
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 well-being between these two
group
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groups
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 will be more and more increased due to the accessibility of the
technology
.
On the contrary
, the advancement of
technology
 provides
the
Correct article usage
apply
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educational opportunity for all students resulting in the reduction in human's disparity.
For instance
, the internet enables students all over the world to access
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
knowledges
Change the wording
knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
show examples
 resources, and study via online classes, regardless of the tuition fee. Obviously, the university of people, where teenagers can online learn with eminent professors from the prestigious universities for free, provide the degree in several study fields to a thousand of students across the world even in Africa. Due to
the
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apply
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technology
, getting a degree without paying any fees is possible. In summary,
although
 the innovation can increase the financial gap among
population
Add an article
the population
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 as the persons who can access the
technology
 get more benefits, I strongly believe that the
technology
are
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is
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 the promising methods to decrease
this
 gap by providing the opportunity in
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
show examples
 of education.
Submitted by prokoh_ja_555 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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