IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Many countries spend a lot of money in art. Some people think investment in art is necessary, but others say money is better spent on public services and facilities. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#countries #money #art #people #investment #services #facilities
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numerous governments invest enormous money in
art
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 industries. there are polarized opinions about
this
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 subject and
people
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 argue if as money should spend on
art
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 as on other topics.
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 agree with those who think investment in
art
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 is a vital matter. on the one hand, due to
Correct article usage
the increasingly
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increasingly
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increased
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 growth of population all around the world, the requirement of providing
people
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 with adequate facilities and equipment is inevitable. food nutrition, various types of transport, and accommodation are
such
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 needs that should be addressed. some
people
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 believe that
art
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 in comparison with mentioned examples is less important because certain things as public transport, agriculture, and technological devices which are tangled with human's life, are prior to visual entertainment.
on the other hand
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, many individuals have placed a premium on
art
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also
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 have taken it as a conspicuous part of life. in my opinion,
art
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 is in every single moment of our lives. to clarify, our daily habits are connected to
art
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.
for instance
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, a plate of
meal
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meals
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 for a gathering should enjoy
beauty
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the beauty
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 in order to stimulate
people
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's appetite.
additionally
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,
tourism
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the tourism
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 industry is extremely affected by the effort and money that have
spent
Add a missing verb
been spent
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 on
art
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 by countries. painting galleries, museums, and statues are potentially attractive for tourists and,
subsequently
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, are the prime reason for travelling hundreds of tourists annually.
furthermore
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, artworks are
heritage
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a heritage
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 to future generations and we ought to preserve them well. to conclude, in my aspect,
art
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 is as important as public services and facilities because its crucial role in human's journey on the earth is undeniable.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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