IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people say the government should give the health care the first priority, some others believe there are more important priorities to spend the taxpayers’ money. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

People
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 have different views about whether
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government
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the government
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 should prioritize
healthcare
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 investment or should they put more emphasis on other courses. While it is true that other sectors
such
Linking Words
 as education or public infrastructure should
also
Linking Words
 be taken good care of, I believe a sound and well-established
health
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 care system is the prime undertaking of a
government
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.
Healthcare
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 is
the
Correct article usage
a
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 crucial
government
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 investment in order to sustain economic growth and to maintain social stability.
People
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 who are covered by a
government
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-funded and affordable
health
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 plan could be exempt from enormous financial
burden
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burdens
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 when they are getting old or sick, thereby feeling more secure and optimistic financially.
This
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 feeling towards
future
Correct article usage
the future
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 drives
people
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 to be more productive at work and encourages
people
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 to spend more on daily commodities or other leisure activities, which ultimately stimulates economic development.
In addition
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,
government
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 financing could reduce the
health
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 disparity to some extent. Private
healthcare
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 is expensive, sometimes inefficient and to make things worse, biased. It works hard to exclude
people
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 who have less income or suffer
pre-existing
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from pre-existing
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 conditions. With
this
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 being said, citizens who need the insurance most are very likely to be denied access to private
healthcare
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. On
this
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 account,
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government
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the government
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 should step in and allocate sufficient funds to guarantee the delivery of quality
heath
Correct your spelling
health
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 care to everyone, despite
of
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apply
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their income or
health
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 condition.
Nonetheless
Linking Words
, no one could deny the significance of other sectors
such
Linking Words
 as education, infrastructure and environmental protection.
For instance
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, education illuminates
people
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’s minds and thinking, and could spur
technology
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technological
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 advances and innovation. Well-executed infrastructure
such
Linking Words
 as transport systems facilitate the flow of products and
service
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services
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, and
also
Linking Words
 are essential for the economic vitality of our businesses. Environmental protection could secure a better
health
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 condition and sustainable development not only for ourselves but
also
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 for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
future generations.
However
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, none of these could outweigh the importance of
healthcare
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 due to its distinct feature,
that is
Linking Words
 to say, a matter of life and death. In conclusion, I fully support the view that
government
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 must make it
top
Correct article usage
a top
show examples
 priority to provide the public with adequate and affordable medical resources and treatment.

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