IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#countries #people #sums #money #railway #lines #trains #cities #transport
While some
people
 believe that spending
the
Change the article
a
show examples
 large amount of
money
 on the new railway lines for the fast trains which
transports
Change the verb form
transport
show examples
form
Correct your spelling
from
show examples
 the cities is essential,
other
Correct pronoun usage
others
show examples
 believe that developing the rest of the public
transport
 should be the main propose to spend
money
 on evenly.
This
 essay will demonstrate both different perspectives and provide the reason to understand each view explicitly. Spending
money
 on the new
construction
 of railroad for the speed trains is very significant. Nowadays,
people
 are likely to journey by
train
 more than before. Some
people
 think that the government should decide to spend
huge
Add an article
a huge
show examples
 amount of
money
 on the railway more than other public constructions. Building the new railroads is beneficial for many citizens not only for
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 but
also
 for transporting the products between cities. The speed trains desire the appropriate railways to move smoothly;
additionally
, constructing the new railroads that are suitable for the fast
train
 can reduce the time more than those that are unsuitable for the speed
train
.
However
, there will be a severe accident if the
construction
 of the railroads is not appropriate for the fast
train
.
In contrast
, some populations in many nations think that spending
money
 on developing every public
transport
 is very necessary. Every public
construction
 is equally crucial because nowadays, every
people
 use every vehicle to journey and move something that they cannot do
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
by themselves;
as a result
, every public
construction
 should be improved vastly. The other reason is some citizens think that it will be not worthy
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 many
people
 to build the new railways. Some
people
 believe that the speed
train
 is quite expensive;
therefore
, they decide to avoid the speed
train
. It will be better if every public
transport
 is developed equally.
People
 will have many alternatives to select which transportation they will go to save the expenditure and time. In my perspective, I strongly believe that every public
construction
 should be developed evenly.
People
 have more options
besides
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 by speed
train
. Due to the future generation,
people
 are likely to use other kinds of transportation more than
train
Add an article
the train
a train
show examples
,
such
 as plane, boat, and so on. It is important to enhance every public
transport
 to live efficiently.
Submitted by mind46313 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • infrastructure
  • efficient
  • congestion
  • sustainable
  • environmentally friendly
  • connectivity
  • economic growth
  • public transportation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: