families who send their children to private schools should not be required to pay taxes that support the state education system

Some people agree with paying the educational taxes for
families
who send their
children
to a private
school
and some others are not. In my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
paying the
tax
for supporting
education
Correct article usage
the education
show examples
system
is not mandatory for
families
who send their sons and girls to non-public schools. In
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
I will explain my reasons and discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.
First
Add an article
The first
show examples
thing that I want to say about my opinion is about
tuition
Correct article usage
the tuition
show examples
fee
Fix the agreement mistake
fees
show examples
of private schools. In
fact
Add a comma
,fact
show examples
the cost of
this
type of
education
centers
Fix the agreement mistake
center
show examples
is much more than other types.
Thus
, parents
who their
Correct pronoun usage
whose
show examples
children
go to
such
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
these schools pay a lot of money without using
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
any governmental services.
Therefore
they can do not pay any additional cost for supporting the state
education
system
.
for example
,
families
who send their
children
to a private
school
pay the cost of the learning process of teachers who teach in that
school
which they graduated by government
supporting
Change the form of the verb
support
show examples
.
Secondly
, when a private
school
is opened the
ownen
Correct your spelling
owner
of that do not use the public assets and he will expend his own money to buy and prepare the
school
's needs.
In other
words
Add a comma
,words
show examples
this
is a type of financial activity.
Thus
, he will pay the
tax
of his profit and his activity
then
the
families
who are using his services with sending their students to his
school
must not pay any
tax
for anything which relate to
education
Add an article
the education
show examples
system
of
state
Add an article
the state
show examples
. According to these two reasons I
am not agree
Change the verb form
do not agree
show examples
with paying any taxes fo educational
system
by
families
who send their
children
to a private
school
because they pay a lot of money for buying or using
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
services which are prepared by
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
or other public organisations and
also
the
tax
of opening a private
school
as an investing activity was
payed
Correct your spelling
paid
show examples
by
owner
Add an article
the owner
show examples
of
school
Add an article
the school
show examples
.
Submitted by pooya2942 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • tax exemption
  • public education
  • private schools
  • collective responsibility
  • societal welfare
  • equitable access
  • financial burden
  • social cohesion
  • tax credits
  • vouchers
  • subsidies
  • state-funded
  • socioeconomic disparities
  • public vs. private sector
  • quality of education
What to do next:
Look at other essays: