IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

families who send their children to private schools should not be required to pay taxes that support the state education system

#families #children #schools #taxes #support #education #system
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Some people agree with paying the educational taxes for
families
Use synonyms
 who send their
children
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 to a private
school
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 and some others are not. In my
opinion
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,opinion
show examples
 paying the
tax
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 for supporting
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education
Correct article usage
the education
show examples
system
Use synonyms
 is not mandatory for
families
Use synonyms
 who send their sons and girls to non-public schools. In
this
Linking Words
essay
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,essay
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 I will explain my reasons and discuss
about
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apply
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it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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.
Linking Words
First
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The first
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 thing that I want to say about my opinion is about
tuition
Correct article usage
the tuition
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fee
Fix the agreement mistake
fees
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 of private schools. In
fact
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,fact
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 the cost of
this
Linking Words
 type of
education
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centers
Fix the agreement mistake
center
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 is much more than other types.
Thus
Linking Words
, parents
who their
Correct pronoun usage
whose
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children
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 go to
such
Linking Words
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
these schools pay a lot of money without using
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
any governmental services.
Therefore
Linking Words
 they can do not pay any additional cost for supporting the state
education
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system
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.
for example
Linking Words
,
families
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 who send their
children
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 to a private
school
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 pay the cost of the learning process of teachers who teach in that
school
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 which they graduated by government
supporting
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support
show examples
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, when a private
school
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 is opened the
ownen
Correct your spelling
owner
 of that do not use the public assets and he will expend his own money to buy and prepare the
school
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's needs.
In other
Linking Words
words
Add a comma
,words
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this
Linking Words
 is a type of financial activity.
Thus
Linking Words
, he will pay the
tax
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 of his profit and his activity
then
Linking Words
 the
families
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 who are using his services with sending their students to his
school
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 must not pay any
tax
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 for anything which relate to
Use synonyms
education
Add an article
the education
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system
Use synonyms
 of
state
Add an article
the state
show examples
. According to these two reasons I
am not agree
Change the verb form
do not agree
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 with paying any taxes fo educational
system
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 by
families
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 who send their
children
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 to a private
school
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 because they pay a lot of money for buying or using
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
services which are prepared by
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 or other public organisations and
also
Linking Words
 the
tax
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 of opening a private
school
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 as an investing activity was
payed
Correct your spelling
paid
show examples
 by
owner
Add an article
the owner
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 of
Use synonyms
school
Add an article
the school
show examples
.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • tax exemption
  • public education
  • private schools
  • collective responsibility
  • societal welfare
  • equitable access
  • financial burden
  • social cohesion
  • tax credits
  • vouchers
  • subsidies
  • state-funded
  • socioeconomic disparities
  • public vs. private sector
  • quality of education
What to do next:
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