It is often thought that the increase in juvenile crime can be attributed to violence in the media. Do you agree that this is the main cause of juvenile crime? What solutions can you offer to deal with this situation?

#crime #violence #media #offer #situation

Nowadays there is an upward trend in the juvenile delinquency rate. Some people say

this

is because of the flourishing in the

media

industry which sometimes contains violent content, and

such

unhealthy contexts can influence immature

children

's thoughts. In my opinion, I totally agree with

this

idea and think that it is better to have

parents

' accompanying when

children

are watching TV or using social

media

;

furthermore

, violent content on these

media

should be strictly restricted by the authority.

To begin

with, the

media

should take the greatest responsibility for juvenile crime because they spread inadequate information without categorizing their users.

As a result

such

bad information can easily be seen by

children

who are mentally immature and have less knowledge to recognize things' right and wrong.

For example

, according to the authority's research, in

Taiwan

Add a comma

,Taiwan

show examples

up to 70 per cent of students in elementary schools will imitate public figures' ways of speaking and their

behaviors

Change the spelling

behaviours

show examples

, for just wanting to be like them.

Consequently

, some bad behaviours

such

as bullying or discriminating can happen in the school or on the internet. In order to deal

these

Change preposition

with these

show examples

problems mentioned above,

parents

' accompanying and strict censorship from the government will be important all the more.

Firstly

parents

have to spend some time watching TV or browsing websites with their

children

, taking

this

opportunity to assist them with developing the ability to tell right from wrong.

Therefore

, even

Correct your spelling

though

show examples

thought

Correct your spelling

though

show examples

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

unhealthy behaviour or speaking has been exposed to the

children

, the harmful effect on them can be enormously minimized.

In addition

this

, comprehensive censorship from the government is able to effectively curb juvenile delinquency because

this

is the easiest and quickest way to thoroughly eradicate inadequate messages on all kinds of

media

. In conclusion, unhealthy content on the

media

should be blamed for encouraging

children

to commit crimes, and

Remove the article

apply

show examples

proper education from

parents

and a stringent regulation introduced by the government can ease

this

problem.

Submitted by champincloud on Mon Oct 11 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

324 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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It is often thought that the increase in juvenile crime can be attributed to violence in the media. Do you agree that this is the main cause of juvenile crime? What solutions can you offer to deal with this situation?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

Some people claim that not enough of the waste from homes is recycled. They say that the only way to increase recycling is for governments to make it a legal requirement. To what extent do you think laws are needed to make people recycle more of their waste

completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

You share a parking area with several neighbours and have recently started having problems. Write a letter to be copied to all neighbours that share the parking area. In that letter • explaining the problems • suggesting ways to help the situation • proposing a possible meeting

Some people believe that the government should support the funds for the arts, while some other people suggest that the money should be used for public health and education. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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