When a town is planned, it is more important to develop public parks and sports facilities than shopping centers for people to spend their free time in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#town #parks #sports #facilities #centers #people #time

In a modern town, many argue that public parks and sports establishments are crucial and are more important than shopping

malls

. I partially disagree with

this

statement, as I believe that shopping markets are equally important to public parks and exercise facilities. In the following essay, we will discuss the reasons to support my cause. The development of recreations

centres

in the city is proved to be imperative.

First

of all,

such

social establishments will be a place of people gatherings to work out and to play or practise their sports activities. And because of

such

incidents

Add a comma

,incidents

show examples

every member can connect with each other either through games or just by talking with one another.

As a result

, the town residents can improvise their relationship with the local communities and

this

will lead to a healthy community.

Therefore

, the prospects of having

such

social

centres

are higher. Even though, having

such

exercising and social establishments would be beneficial. I would like to point out the importance of having shopping

malls

Firstly

, shopping

centres

are convenient for the inhabitants to purchase all necessities in one place and

also

to transport them with less effort and at a lower cost.

Secondly

, the shopping centre will provide employment for the locals. Locals can get jobs at the retail, security or maintenance to the mall.

Thus

, through

malls

locals can economically support the family. In conclusion, I reiterate that from the above essay it is clear the shopping

malls

are equally important as a gym and recreational

centres

as it proved to be convenient and provides opportunities to the city inhabitants.

Submitted by richvinleon00 on Mon Oct 11 2021

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Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

267 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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When a town is planned, it is more important to develop public parks and sports facilities than shopping centers for people to spend their free time in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In today’s, we still greatly value our artists (such as musicians, painters and writers) even now is age of advanced science and technology. Why is it? How arts improve people’s live?

Children are facing more pressures nowadays from academic, social and commercial perspectives. What are the causes of these pressures? What measures should be taken to reduce this pressure?