When a town is planned, it is more important to develop public parks and sports facilities than shopping centers for people to spend their free time in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#town #parks #sports #facilities #centers #people #time

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In a modern town, many argue that public parks and sports establishments are crucial and are more important than shopping

malls

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. I partially disagree with

this

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statement, as I believe that shopping markets are equally important to public parks and exercise facilities. In the following essay, we will discuss the reasons to support my cause. The development of recreations

centres

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in the city is proved to be imperative.

First

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of all,

such

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social establishments will be a place of people gatherings to work out and to play or practise their sports activities. And because of

such

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incidents

Add a comma

,incidents

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every member can connect with each other either through games or just by talking with one another.

As a result

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, the town residents can improvise their relationship with the local communities and

this

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will lead to a healthy community.

Therefore

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, the prospects of having

such

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social

centres

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are higher. Even though, having

such

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exercising and social establishments would be beneficial. I would like to point out the importance of having shopping

malls

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Firstly

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, shopping

centres

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are convenient for the inhabitants to purchase all necessities in one place and

also

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to transport them with less effort and at a lower cost.

Secondly

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, the shopping centre will provide employment for the locals. Locals can get jobs at the retail, security or maintenance to the mall.

Thus

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, through

malls

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locals can economically support the family. In conclusion, I reiterate that from the above essay it is clear the shopping

malls

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are equally important as a gym and recreational

centres

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as it proved to be convenient and provides opportunities to the city inhabitants.

Submitted by richvinleon00 on Mon Oct 11 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

267 words

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When a town is planned, it is more important to develop public parks and sports facilities than shopping centers for people to spend their free time in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or negative development .

Some people feel that entertainers (e.g., film stars, pop musicians or sport stars) are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? which other types of job should be highly paid?

Nowadays, there are many individuals who wants to self-employed. Do the advantages outweigh disadvantages?

The popularity of online education has grown significantly in recent years. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

the chart below showes the avrege monthly expenditure by brithish households in three years