*Many people are involved in sports when they are young but stop once they are adults*. *Why do many adults stop doing physical exercise?* *What can be done about this problem?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Sports play a vital role in fitness and curb many diseases which is because of a sedentary lifestyle, lots of public play games when they are adult after that they start avoiding it which is dangerous for their health, I reckon more awareness should be spread among
community
Use synonyms
via government, educate the
community
Use synonyms
about health benefits of doing a regular workout in older age.
To begin
Linking Words
with, education and knowledge are very crucial for what we doing, if the public knows that benefit of doing exercise in the geriatric phase benefit them to control their blood pressure, reduce cholesterol level, and enhance activeness which is excellent for their mental health,
moreover
Linking Words
it will prevent them from anxiety, stress disorders because at later age
community
Use synonyms
prone to
such
Linking Words
disease,
for instance
Linking Words
, cricketer Kapil dev who is a live example he is fit healthy and free from all disease even though I must say he is
more
Add an article
a more
the more
show examples
active
then
Linking Words
young population who are not doing physical exercises. so educate people about
this
Linking Words
and encourage them to give examples of epitome.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, to deter
this
Linking Words
government should work on advertisements for a population which feature geriatric personality who are healthy and doing a regular workout, show their daily routine so that other will follow them and starts at their own workout,
secondly
Linking Words
, by putting hoardings and distributing pamphlets to every society in pictorial form so that anyone can understand easily, even though with audiovisual effects about what are the consequences of sedentary lifestyle and benefits of following a healthy lifestyle.
for example
Linking Words
, on Instagram Milin soman
a
Add a missing verb
is a
show examples
very renowned person teaching people fitness mantras and how he maintaining his physique even in his 50 years of age. In conclusion,
community
Use synonyms
change their attitude towards
this
Linking Words
issue if they know benefits,
,
Change the punctuation
apply
show examples
Linking Words
moreover
Add a comma
,moreover
show examples
in my ,
view
Add a comma
,view
show examples
it is important to teach them the right way of doing exercises
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
so that they never harm their muscle which ultimately builds confidence in them.
Submitted by vinitajnv on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: