IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #community #service #part #school #programmes #charity #neighbourhood #sports #children
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It is a common belief that aided community programmes
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
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 are free of charge should be obligated in high school schedules.
However
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, there is a more persuasive opinion that
students
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 should concentrate on their duties, improving knowledge,
instead
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 of taking too much
time
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 to join other
activities
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. Analysis
both
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of both
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view
Fix the agreement mistake
views
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 would show a comprehensive idea. On one side of the argument, participating
on
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in
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 unpaid community service assist children from all ages to approach soft skills
such
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 as communicating, or
publicly
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public
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 speaking.
Moreover
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,
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students 's
Remove the s
students'
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 emotions could be developed significantly throughout charity programmes. According to
a
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apply
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recent research,
students
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 who take part in youth unions or associations would have
extroverse
Correct your spelling
extroversive
extroversion
 characteristics as their mentality and sympathy have been built strongly after experimented
a
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with a
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series of helpful society
activities
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.
Nevertheless
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,
on the other hand
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,
students
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 should devote their
time
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 to finishing compulsory academic programmes. Mandatory outdoor
activities
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 would take too much
time
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, especially, coinciding with their subject schedules.
Then
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, they immediately
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
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on
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apply
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the
Use synonyms
students's
Remove the s
students'
show examples
 final results, often in a negative way.
Additionally
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, those
activities
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 become pressures on their teacher, their reports would be much better if their
students
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 dedicated more
on
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to
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 the service while their duties are adopting
knowledges
Change the wording
knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
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.
For instance
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, my high school once
time
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 required us to join the freshmen soldiers welcome meeting, half of our class had to skip the subjects
in
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apply
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that morning. Fortunately,
i
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I
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 had a chance to stay
at
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in
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 the classroom. To conclude, being members of community services would play a part in
bulding
Correct your spelling
building
 strong gestures among
students
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, but they should not be contributed much
time
Use synonyms
 as
students
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 have to finish their class
firts
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first
.
Submitted by nguyetduong549 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • compulsory
  • high school programmes
  • unpaid community service
  • charity
  • improving the neighbourhood
  • teaching sports
  • sense of responsibility
  • empathy
  • broader perspective
  • societal issues
  • college applications
  • job applications
  • positive impact
What to do next:
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