People who decide on a career path early in their lives and keep to it are more likely to have a satisfying working life than those who often change jobs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, many persons believe that
people
who choose a
job
early and insist are possibly to obtain a satisfying
career
life
than others who
change
jobs
frequently. From my standpoint, I disagree
the
Change preposition
with the
show examples
declaration to some extent.
However
, if
people
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
often
change
jobs
,
then
they could have opportunities to find
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
work they love, so they have a satisfying working
life
. To be specific, if a person does not
likes
Change the verb form
like
show examples
a
field
where it works currently, even the
job
has the longest time,
it
Correct pronoun usage
he
she
show examples
still needs to find a new
field
. So the person may
crosses
Change the verb form
cross
show examples
a
various
Replace the word
variety
show examples
of fields to find
a
Change the article
an
show examples
interesting
job
, even the perfect
jobs
maybe
Correct your spelling
may be
show examples
in
education
Add an article
the education
show examples
field
, financial market or some other else. That means
although
a person may often
changes
Change the verb form
change
show examples
jobs
for searching a favourite
job
, it
still
Add a missing verb
is still
show examples
worth
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
endeavour to have a satisfying working
life
.
People
who
change
jobs
frequently have more
experience
in the
various
Replace the word
variety
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
fields which cultivate persons as the compound talent, so they could feel
satisfying
Replace the word
satisfied
show examples
. The individuals could gain a large number of
experience
from the different kinds of
jobs
which will transform the working
experience
to the advantages, and the advantages could promote
people
to work
efficient
Replace the word
efficiently
show examples
. So it will benefit to persons’
career
and
then
people
will have a perfect
job
life
. But
on the other hand
,
people
who decide on a
job
early and do not consider
to
Change the verb form
changing
show examples
change
it
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
will have more
experience
of work, and they
also
will be promoted early. Because they joined
this
career
path earlier than
people
who
change
jobs
frequently, that means they have more qualifications than the later gamer. So they could have a satisfying working
life
. In conclusion,
people
who
change
their
jobs
frequently may have a perfect
career
life
. They
experience
many
field
Change to a plural noun
fields
show examples
of
jobs
, so they could know which
jobs
are
they
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
favourite or in their advantage zone.
Then
they may obtain the satisfy in the long-term, even it may spend some time to find.
Submitted by fanganqi79 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • career path
  • job satisfaction
  • professional goals
  • climb the career ladder
  • develop expertise
  • long-term commitment
  • financial security
  • varied experiences
  • prevent monotony
  • job security
  • career progression
  • personal preferences
  • industry dynamics
What to do next:
Look at other essays: