Some people suggest that children do not understand the world of work and schools should make all teenagers spend a short time working as well as studying academic subjects.

#people #children #world #work #schools #teenagers #time #subjects

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People have different views about teenagers not perceive both aspects of school and occupation. For that reason, they suppose that adolescence should be taken part in career

program

Fix the agreement mistake

programs

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instead

Linking Words

of spending all-

timetime

Correct your spelling

time time

the

Correct article usage

apply

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school. Whilst there are many reasons to justify

such

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a viewpoint, I totally agree with

this

Linking Words

statement.

Firstly

Linking Words

, there are numerous reasons why

students

Use synonyms

should have a part-

time

Use synonyms

job

Use synonyms

rather than focus too much on study hypothetical. In the population circumstance and globalization, almost all

job

Use synonyms

requires experience skills and ability to deal with, practical

also

Linking Words

play an essential part in recruitment. It means that

students

Use synonyms

could be faced with unemployment or having trouble finding the right

job

Use synonyms

without practical.

For instance

Linking Words

, a survey at the University of Sydney proved that 60% of

students

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who

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

not been for any short

time

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job

Use synonyms

could not find an appropriate

job

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with their major and 40% with

job

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experience as communication skill, computer skills or hospitality skills have more

job

Use synonyms

opportunity.

Therefore

Linking Words

, it becomes more important to allocate working

time

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and studying

time

Use synonyms

together which is considered the fundamental foundation for teenagers after they graduate. Moving on to consider the opposing side arguments, some parents think that doing a part-

time

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job

Use synonyms

along with studying in university will make their children get

a bad results

Correct the article-noun agreement

bad results

a bad result

show examples

. It is largely attributed to the fact that knowledge is the

first

Linking Words

criteria to evaluate input human resources.

For example

Linking Words

, in

a rural areas

Correct the article-noun agreement

rural areas

a rural area

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of Vietnam, many people willing to work when they were 15 or 16 years old with little knowledge must accept low salaries with unfairness in their

job

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Other

Change preposition

In other

show examples

words,

students

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also

Linking Words

should priority academic achievement to get a high score that promotes occupation in the future. In conclusion, while there are strong arguments on both sides of the debate, a final conclusion must be drawn, and I strongly agree that children should have awareness in studying and working.

Moreover

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, they

also

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should be considered working in a short

time

Use synonyms

to have a deeper insight about practical and theories.

Submitted by nguyenvithanhdat on Tue Oct 12 2021

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Your opinion

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If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

338 words

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Some people suggest that children do not understand the world of work and schools should make all teenagers spend a short time working as well as studying academic subjects.

Your opinion

Wealthy countries should accept more refugees and provide them with basic assistance, such as food and housing. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

in some countries more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or buliding they live in. what are the reason for this? how can people research this?