4. Is there anything else you would like to tell us ?

5.5 / 9

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Introduction

I, Balram Panwar, grew up in a small town , Rampur Maniharan, India, where my family is heavily involved in agriculture. I used to do lots of chores along with my father at the fields. I had gone through the pain of farmers who spent all their lives in their fields. My father used to talk about the importance of education in

life

Use synonyms

Similarly

Linking Words

, my mother

also

Linking Words

used to put emphasis on education. While working in the field, I have learned the most valuable lessons of my

life

Use synonyms

i.e we should respect all people, the importance of teamwork and how to mingle with people of different tribes.

Body paragraph 1

After finishing college in India, I got a chance to study MSc. at the University of Southern California. Since

then

Linking Words

, I have been working as a software Engg. in top companies in Silicon Valley, California. Most recently, I led the software development in the world’s leading wireless technology innovator, Qualcomm. In the current role, Apart from software development, daily I face situations that require interpersonal skills: interviewing a job applicant, rewarding an employee, providing constructive criticism, etc. On multiple occasions, I interact with customers to deliver customer-centric solutions.

This

Linking Words

cooperative

life

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has

also

Linking Words

been providing me with better opportunities and

life

Use synonyms

-changing skills like get a global and transversals vision of any business, the importance of building and working under an organization, and plan a roadmap and setting milestones for the long-term objectives.

Conclusion

Both the aspects of my

life

Use synonyms

i.e village and cooperate

life

Use synonyms

, have been making me a person, who can think above and beyond from a personal level. Still,I feel that there is a lot to add to my

life

Use synonyms

too. So that I can contribute some to

this

Linking Words

beautiful world.

Leena Kapoor

Oct 12, 2021

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

5.5

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

289 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

bilingual
multilingual
fluency
communicate
cognitive skills
cultural awareness
opportunities
globalized world
job market
interact
linguistic abilities
cultural exchange
language proficiency
language barrier
foreign travel
personal growth
academic achievement
self-confidence
enhance
cross-cultural communication

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4. Is there anything else you would like to tell us ?

Some people think technology development decreases crime, while others believe it actually encourages crime. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

The top priority of bussiness is making money, and they do not need to have social responsibilities. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Some people think that the development of technology has made our life more complex, and the solution is to live a simpler life without technology. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Over the past decade, there has been an alarming rise of nearly 20% in the proportion of obese children in Western societies. Analyze the factors that contribute to this concerning pattern.