IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

Whoever controls the media also controls the opinions and attitudes of the people and there is little that can be done to rectify this. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#controls #media #attitudes #people
People
 who have authority over
media
 can control
behaviour
Correct article usage
the behaviour
show examples
 and thoughts of the
people
.
This
 can be a debatable statement and opinions may vary
accordingly
.
To begin
with
Add a comma
,with
show examples
 it is important for
people
 to be aware of what is going on in the
nation
 and worldwide.
Media
 is that organisation
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 gives us insight about What, When Where and How something is happening and what are the negative and positive impacts of
such
 events. These are only some aspects that
media
 cover and without
this
coverage
Add a comma
,coverage
show examples
 it is very difficult for a
nation
 to function.
Also
,
media
 is considered to be one of the pillars of any democracy and immense tension on a pillar can have a negative impact
over
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the whole
nation
. But is it true that many powerful organisations and
people
 have
media
 on their leash? With no proper
evidence
Add a comma
,evidence
show examples
 it is hard to comment on that. Whereas some
suggests
Change the verb form
suggest
show examples
 that
media
 is only reporting what they are asked to report and not what they are supposed to report. Giving a clear autonomy to the powerholders by helping them hide their wrongdoings or involvement in criminal activities. At the end of the day, it is very important for the
media
 to hold their moral grounds and not work for anyone but for the
people
 of the
nation
. By keeping them well
inform
Change the form of the verb
informed
show examples
 about the event that
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 taking place. So that they can choose between right and wrong when the time is right.
Submitted by ieltsmaterialof on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: