Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #music #cultures #ages

Music

is thoroughly enjoyed by

people

around the world. It has been said to be a "universal

language

." It exists in every society, with or without words.

People

can enjoy

music

for the rhythm and melody no matter what

language

it uses.

Therefore

, I agree that

music

is a good

way

of bringing

people

together.

Music

is an essential aspect of humanity. Different cultures produce different

music

, and when that

music

is shared,

people

worldwide can listen and learn about that culture.

Music

is not always about the lyrics. It's about the feelings, the memories, the experiences in which it is tied.

This

is why

people

worldwide,

although

not understanding the meaning of the lyrics, can enjoy

music

. The K-Wave (Korean Wave) is an excellent example of

this

. So many

people

worldwide are interested in K-Pop right now, even those who don't understand the lyrics.

This

proves that no matter the

language

it uses,

music

can always be enjoyed by everyone. Sometimes

music

speaks more than just words. For some

people

, like singers and songwriters,

music

is a

way

of communicating their feelings. It's their

way

of telling their view of love, heartbreak, sadness, anger, happiness, and a lot more.

People

who can relate to the

music

can listen and enjoy it. A concert is a massive example of how

music

can bring

people

together, like the Coachella

Music

Festival. Many

people

of all ages worldwide come to California to watch artists perform their

music

at the

music

festival. They might not recognize some artists that are performing, but they can still enjoy the

music

festival. In conclusion, it's not the

language

that matters; it's the

music

's feelings, melody, and rhythm. And

music

is quite a good

way

of bringing

people

of all ages worldwide together.

Submitted by c.rayasukmojati on Wed Oct 13 2021

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Fully explain your ideas

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Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
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Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

296 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

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Fully explain your ideas

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