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Band 6.5

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

#food #drink #products #levels #sugar #health #people
Many people believe that food and beverages that are high in sugar should be sold at high prices to discourage people from consuming these unhealthy
products
. I totally disagree because I think that it is unfair to consumers charge more for these
products
 and
also
 because there are other more effective ways to discourage
consumption
 of these
types
 of
goods
. The main reason why I believe these
products
 should not be made more expensive is that it is unfair to shoppers. These
types
 of
goods
, when consumed in moderation, are not a health risk and
therefore
 it does not seem reasonable that everybody who consumes these
goods
 should have to pay more.
Furthermore
, for people on a tight budget, a sweet snack is an affordable luxury.
However
, if prices are hiked
this
 might put people’s favourite snack out of reach.
In addition
, there are more effective ways to decrease the
consumption
 of sugary
goods
. The best way is for the government to engage in public service advertising to educate the public about the need to eat these
types
 of
products
 in moderation.
This
 type of approach has been useful with other vices
such
 as alcohol and cigarettes and so it seems reasonable that it will
also
 work for sugary
products
. Another effective way to decrease
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
consumption
 is to ban
advertising
Add an article
the advertising
show examples
 of these
types
 of
products
. I feel
this
 will be effective because it will create less of a psychological desire to consume these
types
 of
goods
. In conclusion, I am totally against increasing the price of confectionery.
This
 is because it is not fair to consumers and there are better ways to reduce
consumption
 of these sugary
goods
Submitted by hudakarboly on

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

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  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • health problems
  • manufactured food and drink products
  • sugary products
  • excessive sugar consumption
  • discourage
  • promote
  • healthier choices
  • reduce
  • increased taxes
  • fund
  • health education
  • prevention programs
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