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Band 5

MANY PEOPLE BELIEVE THAT MODERN MUSIC CAN HAVE A NEGETIVE IMPACT ON THE YOUNG. OTHERS BELIEVE THE EFFECT OF MODERN MUSIC IS POSITIVE. DISCUSS BOTH THE VEIWS AND GIVE YOUR OPINION.

#people #music #negetive #impact #effect #veiws
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Some people claim that contemporary
music
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 issues on the youth generation whereas others think the opposite and defend the benefits of
Change the verb form
listening
show examples
listen
Add the preposition
tolisten
show examples
music
.
This
 essay will discuss both sides of
this
 situation and explain the reasons why
music
 has more pros than cons
in
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for
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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teenagers. Listening
music
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to music
show examples
 is good for all ages because it can change our mood quick and bring different emotions. The youth people have been
overestimulated
Correct your spelling
overstimulated
overestimated
 for many devices and they have had some issues with
Add an article
a task
the task
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task
Fix the agreement mistake
tasks
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 that required concentration. Lo-fi beats,
for example
, can regulate the heartbeats and
breathing
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breathe
show examples
 in a way that helps to keep focus
in
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on
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 one task for many hours.
Therefore
,
this
 type of
music
 could be very helpful nowadays with attention disorders, which becomes more and more common among teens. Another beneficial example in the kids is the lyrics because it is a kind of poem with a message
behind
Correct pronoun usage
itbehind
show examples
. For many years,
music
 teaches through its stories about culture, experiences and impressions of the world.
Therefore
 style, lyrics and rhythm are always changing to adapt
the
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to the
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 new generation of listeners or keeping
a
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apply
show examples
memory alive.
On the other hand
, it is not all songs that we can consider beneficial for youngs. In
this
 phase of life, they are still figuring out their characters and personalities and some
noisy
Replace the word
noise
show examples
 as
refered
Correct your spelling
referred
 to as
music
, could not be good for them.
For example
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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brazilian
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Brazilian
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 funk is very popular among
youngs
Correct your spelling
young
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 and teens,
however
, the lyrics are always
incentivating
Correct your spelling
investigating
incentivising
incentivizing
 to commit crimes, rape women and consume drugs.
Therefore
, if I had a teen close to me, I would never
allowed
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be allowed
allow
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 him to listen
Change preposition
to those
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those kind
Change the determiner
that kind
those kinds
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 of
music
. In my opinion,
music
 is extremely good and could help in different moments in life,
specially
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especially
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 for our kids; but requires
attention
Add an article
the attention
show examples
 of the parents to overseas what type of
music
 their children
are listen
Change the verb form
are listening
show examples
. To conclude,
music
 has by far and large more benefits than problems to influence young people because it can change emotions or tell experiences, even though some type of
music
 could have a negative impact.
Submitted by lele on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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